Thursday, September 27, 2012

Intellectual Capital

I have lots of intellectual capital which is good because I don't have a ton of physical (real estate) or financial (money) forms of wealth. Mine is mostly the intangible resources that flow from where fantasy sometimes meets reality. This is why I choose to live on Tybee Island! There is more fantasy per capita on this clump of sand than anywhere outside of Congress! If we don't like the way things are ... we make shit up! Ideas flow freely here. Of course there is a great deal of lubrication for ideas available. As my friend Jonathan Few, who goes by an alias on the island, once claimed, a great marketing brand for Tybee would be, "Hold my beer and watch this!" That's how a lot of business gets done here. I'm a proud member of a group called "The Bored", a term coined by Judy O because we gather to drink most days at Fannies-on-the-Beach and either bore tourists or bore ourselves out of our minds ... BUT we have great ideas. Before you go criticizing the genius that is Judy O, let me remind you that the intellectual giants C. S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Charles Williams and Owen Barfield, all Oxford professors encouraged fantasy as a literary style. Maybe you've seen "The Lord of the Rings" or "The Chronicles of Narnia". Anyway, those guys gathered every Thursday to drink beer at a pup called "The Eagle and Child" and read to each other whatever they were writing as they got wasted. Judy O was merely reminding us that we stand in this grand tradition as members of "The Bored" on Tybee Island. Collectively, our intellectual capital is amazing! Here are some of our best ideas. The Lighthouse should be handicap accessible. A ramp should be built, beginning on Hilton Head Island so the incline meets federal guidelines, ending on the observation deck so everyone can enjoy the view, the fresh air and the seagull poo. A "Clothing Optional" Beach should be established between 10th and 13th street on the island. In a country as great as the United States of America there is absolutely no reason for tan lines! Federal legislation should be predicated upon the pool game of "Marco Polo" where you have to swim from one side of a swimming pool to the other without being knocked on the head. Put every member of Congress in the pool and if the President can get to the other side one of his policies gets passed. Once each year everyone who lives on the island should bring their leaf blower to the beach and we'll collectively plug them into the power source at the Ocean Plaza and Resort, and move the sand dunes to where we really want them. Pass legislation that allows for retaliation against Tybee Island Parking Services. I could go on but you likely already appreciate the brilliance of this intellectual capital. I worry about it though. O John, not to be confused with Johnny O, led The Bored to get into merchandizing. We sell official Bored tee shirts, caps, coffee mugs, "Alcohol was not a factor" cups, and such. It's hard to come up with good ideas when you're selling stuff all of the time. It's alright. I worry about this country but I don't worry too much about this island. We're always coming up with ideas to improve it. Now if we can just take the "Youmans/Solomons" Gym which was built for no apparent reason and turn it around so it faces the right direction ... it would be alright.