Saturday, March 12, 2011

Tis the Season

“What’s that hat?” she asked

“It’s a covering for the head,” Daniel deadpanned in response.

I should have warned her of the incredibility witty sense of humor of the very sick people who work at the Breakfast Club but Dedra is from “up the country” and didn’t know any better.

It was one of those mornings when as soon as the doors opened the place was full. As soon as this happened, it was time to leave. “Tis the season” I said to myself. The season on Tybee used to be from June through August. Now there are a few weeks in February when things get slow!

I miss the old days.

In the old days if you drank too much you could call the Tybee Island Police Department and they would come get you and drive you home. Of course in those days the City Council would all gather at “Spankey’s” across the street from city hall for a few drinks before the meeting. Then they would all order one in large “to go” cups, walk across the street and call the meeting to order. Most of the people in the audience brought one too that they had fixed at home. City Council meetings were a lot more fun back then and it seemed like a lot more got done.

Then there was Jimmy T, THE GREATEST TYBEE POLICE OFFICER EVER!!!!!, who arrived at the scene of the crime when Bruce ran into my car when my son Jeremy and I were leaving the Post Office when it was on the south end and knocked his truck through the front door of Kitten’s Korner, an alleged strip club. My car was in the middle of Butler Avenue.

So Jimmy T, THE GREATEST TYBEE POLICE OFFICER EVER!!!!! arrived and asked what happened. I blamed Bruce. He blamed me. Jeremy broke the tie and it was Bruce’s fault.

Then Jimmy T, THE GREATEST TYBEE POLICE OFFICER EVER!!!! asked for our license and if anyone had been drinking. Bruce said, “Hold my beer” and gave it to the officer while he got his license out of the truck.

That’s the way it was back then.

It’s different now. Though there are these pockets of resistance; The Breakfast Club, the Bored Meeting, Fannie’s-on-the-Beach, kids having sex on the Sally Pierce Nature Trail and adults having sex on the Sally Pierce Nature Trail.

The old vibe continues somehow. Last night at Bernie’s, where Sam Adams and Gordon play damn good live music, a bunch of bikers from South Carolina were having a wedding party. Hairy, long haired fat men in leather with women who had bathed in tequila is just not something you see every day.

Then there is today’s parade. Its Tybee’s St. Patrick’s Day parade though St. Patrick’s Day is not until Thursday. That is because the current Tybee Island City Council doesn’t drink. Nor do they do pot.

They do overdose on hiring city employees.

Anyway they decided that a great stimulus package would be to have a parade every week. The entire Island is overdosing on parades! Pirate Fest, Christmas, New Year’s, Mardi Gras, and now St. Patrick’s Day when it’s not St. Patrick’s Day. I understand that the current sober City Council is now considering a Streaker’s Parade in honor of the 1970’s epidemic and Condom week in promotion of safe sex while cleaning out the Sally Pierce Nature Trail at the same time.

I digress.

On Tybee Island, the mantra remains any excuse for a party. We keep having them. I’m marching in today’s parade as part of the O’Neil Big Unit Brigade. It’ll be fun.

Tis the season!