Last night I was out for a night on the town with the two girls that are staying at my house this weekend. We were at Bernie’s listening to Samuel Adams, Gordon and David play damn good live music. Sam kept taking breaks so that he could come over and talk to us.
Meaning he talked to them.
Sam’s forever telling me that whenever he sees me I’m with beautiful women. I must say that I do hang around a pretty decent crowd.
Anyway Sam was hitting on …er, I mean discussing theology with them while I people watched.
Then Gordon tapped me on the shoulder and wanted me to see his new CD. Speaking in his Slingblade voice he said, “Rev, check this out and tell me what you think?”
All of the songs were about waking up in bed with someone you do not know.
“If she’s beside you and you don’t know her Play Dead” was one.
“Baby be my Juliette and I’ll be your Romeo … later” was another.
I’m used to the way that Gordon thinks because he often ad libs when singing along with Samuel.
“Ladies and Gentlemens it is truly horrible and if you wake up and you’re wanted ‘Dead or Alive’” as the band launches into the Bon Jovi song.
Doing a Johnny Cash tune he sings, “I shot three men in Reno … they were extremely rude men … so I shot them.”
“Honey I’m cooking you breakfast tomorrow ‘Coffee and Visine.’”
Gordon is a real romantic.
My I-phone buzzes and it is Rebekah wanting to know why I’m not working. She’s working so she tells me that I should be working. I walk outside to explain that it is Saturday night and I’ve punched out. She tells me that is doesn’t matter because there are deadlines and a big presentation in Chicago next week.
I hold the phone at arm’s length and tell her that she’s breaking up on me and I’ll call her back.
“That your wife?” Bob asks as he passes me by. “I do the same thing with mine.”
I laugh and shake my head walking back to the courtyard where the band has cranked back up.
Sitting with my friends is Marjorie Young and a friend of hers. They had heard Gordon singing and thought a murder was taking place. Being good people they stopped to see if they could help. Realizing it was the band playing they saw Gordon was making the crowd happy with his cleaver lines.
“Don’t drink and drive,” he is explaining, “Drink and walk. Catch a Pedi-cab. Maybe drink and crawl. At least get yourself a designated walker.”
“Not Gordon,” Sam chimes in.
“No, no, no, not me,” Gordon agrees.
“Why aren’t you working?” Marjorie asks me.
I wonder how she knows Rebekah.
My I-phone buzzes and it is Rebekah calling me back. I contemplate letting Gordon answer for me.
“I was escorting one of my ex-wives by her neck,” he is explaining to the audience.
I turn around sitting between my friends. Sam is smiling at them and sticking out his tongue. They are giggling. I throw up just a little.
When they break again I tell my friends that I have to go let Goddess out. They decide to leave with me since both are married.
Once home they talk to one another. They are including me in the conversation but I am ignoring them. Well … I’m looking at them nodding my head up and down but I’m not listening to anything that they have to say.
I’m focused on the future.
When they leave.
