"What?" I ask.
"I have no idea how you graduated from Seminary without ever actually being a Christian," he explains shaking his head.
"Wait a minute," I protest, but John Ferguson is on a roll.
He's a refined, southern gentleman ... retired owner of an auto parts supply business ... Chairman of the Deacons at Bull Street Baptist Church ... good friend to the city's "movers and shakers" ... and a person I can't help but respect and enjoy because ... well ... he's so damn respectable and enjoyable.
We're polar opposites.
He's a gentleman ... honestly the most "gentle" ... "man" I've known.
"Could I share something with you?" is how he starts a real conversation ... elbows resting on knees and his chin held in place by the hands ... leaning forward hopefully expecting a hearing ... he waits until the answer comes.
He never pushes for a response.
Polar opposite from me.
"Let me tell you something!" is how I begin ... sticking my finger in your chest ... almost pushing you over with my rightness because you are so wrong if you take issue ... not caring what you have to say.
Over time, I learn his way is far better than mine.
I begin changing how I communicate with others because John got results and friendship by sharing, listening and conversing than I ever did telling people how things should be done.
First, I began emulating the way he approaches talking to others.
After the pleasantries of asking how you're doing ... how's the family ... offering complements on something or the other ... the purpose of getting together would finally arrive.
"What can I do for you?" I'm asked.
In silence, I wait a moment to consider my words ... then I rest my hands on my knees ... learn towards the person and say, "I'd like to share something with you."
More often than not, genuine interest flashes in the eyes as the answer's given, "What is it?"
Now I'm invited to share.
Then I tell a story about why something is important without ever asking for anything.
Again, more often than not, the response is, "How can I help?"
I became a far better person to work with, achieved far better relationships and earned far more results because I trusted John's way's better than mine.
For whatever reason, I had more faith in John's approach than in my condescending, "take no prisoners", one-sided conversations.
I've come to believe the same is true with trusting in God.
Now John certainly had his questions about what kind of believer I am ... how can I be an unsaved, ordained, Seminary educated minister?
I know why he wondered about my salvation.
All you have to do is look at me to wonder for yourself.
I don't much look like a minister ... especially by Bull Street Baptist standards ... with my Che Guevara tee-shirts, black running shorts, leather ankle bracelet and bare feet.
Plus, I cuss ... drink ... listen to rock-and-roll ... and generally live my life according to the principal of "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the Saints."
But here's what John and I shared in common ... we live with far more trust than certainty.
I believe " ... faith has far more to do with trust than with certainty."
As Barbara Brown Taylor shares in her Leaving Church ...
I trust God to be God even if I can't say who God is for sure ...
I trust God to sustain the world although I cannot say for sure how that happens ...
I trust God to hold me and those I love, in life and in death, without giving me one shred of
conclusive evidence that it's so."
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and don't just rely on your own understanding. In every way, acknowledge God and you'll find your way" (Proverbs 3:5).
You can say what you will about me but I trust God in these things.
You can tell me God is this or that ... an old white man in Heaven, a judgmental and angry Deity waiting to punish me for my sins, the Spirit in the sky ... and I'll mostly be polite and listen ... but I trust God to be God even though I'm not certain of everything that is.
You can question how I live out my faith but I trust God to know I'm doing the very best I can.
You can tell me the world's going to Hell in a hand basket ... and that I am too ... and there can't be a God who allows the evils and injustices to occur like they do ... and I'll agree with your conclusions ... but then I trust God to keep this ol' world spinning in spite of all of the bad things that have happened on it.
You can point out the many times my heart's been broken by those who took advantage of me, lied to my face, took more than I have to give ... and that those I've loved have died and I am too so none of it matter in the end ... but I'm going to continue trusting God that those I love are taken care of though I have no idea how.
"You'd be a great minister if you were saved," is what he said.
And I trust God that I am.
Saved from the restrictions, constrictions, addictions, afflictions and conflictions of this world!
Saved from the Church and it's dogma, rules, judgment and requirement to conform.
Saved from myself and saved from you too!
And I'm going to continue trusting God that I'm saved regardless of what anybody says, thinks or does about it.
