I should have gone out last night. I didn’t and that ended up being a mistake. Throughout the holidays I took great care to be proactive and have ample distractions even when things didn’t go as planned. These were the first holidays that I had to live through since becoming “Suddenly Single” as my friend Bill put it.
Thanksgiving was this progressive series of celebrations beginning with my family, then my extended family at the Breakfast Club and finally at Fannies-on-the-Beach for the Bored meeting party. It started slow and a bit depressed but picked up steam and laughter as the day went on and I ended up having a good time.
Christmas was in St. Martin where warm sunshine, aqua-blue waters, and Caribbean and Canadian friends kept me preoccupied. There were a few hours on Christmas Day where I struggled to not miss the family that I was once a part. It ended in a Villa with a hodge-podge of people including my ten year old friend Lucas who became permanently attached to my arm throughout the evening. He and I laughed like kids on Christmas.
An expired Passport forced me back to Tybee Island for New Year’s where I was promptly kidnapped by my Carnival of friends for the night. It started at Bernie’s listening to Sam and Gordon, moved to Fannies where I evidently walked out without paying and ended at Huck-a-poo’s on the far end of the island. I had to walk home that night at about four in the morning. Goddess woke me up licking my face at 11:00.
Martin Luther King Day was spent mostly at Fannies again with the members of the Bored. It was a good day though I don’t recall what we did other than have a Bored meeting which largely consists of nothing other than celebrating life on Tybee and our incredible collective wit.
I forgot that the Super Bowl is a national holiday and I failed to prepare for it. Last year in the depth of depression and loss, Stacy Jennings was my distraction. I love Stacy as much as I love anybody and her Saints of New Orleans were rolling magic and she was on top of the world. So I pulled for her pulling for the Saints and it all worked out though I don’t recall last year’s game at all. Other than Ryan Sadowski made me throw away more money on the Breakfast Club Super Bowl board like he did again this year.
Yesterday began well enough. I was with my mates at the Breakfast Club and we all make one another laugh which is a great way to start the day. Then I ran, walked Goddess, wrote and went to Bar Church where none other than the world’s most famous heathen was to “bring the word”.
It was hard not to get excited!
And Johnny O brought the house down! He got a standing ovation when he said that Bar Church is real church and those other churches on the island are “full of crap”.
Now that’s preaching!
Then it was time to get ready for the Super Bowl. My friend Philip from the Breakfast Club was having a party at his house and I was invited. But I told myself to stay home, enjoy the game, and rub Goddess’ butt. It sounded cozy.
It ended up being hell.
While the rest of the world celebrated or cussed (depending on their team) I felt … alone. Goddess did her best but my hands were raw from rubbing her butt. I spend a lot of time in Pittsburgh and love that city (especially the hot tub!) and Hines Ward plays for the Steelers (Go Dawgs!) so that was who I was pulling for but … I really didn’t care.
I tried to do other things. Jumping on-line I tried to buy tickets for a trip to St. Martin with Conner but everyone at Delta was watching the Super Bowl so nobody was ready when I was. My daughter Chelsea is in Italy so I tried to book tickets but … nobody was working. It’s a national holiday.
I tried to find what I needed to accomplish these things but I evidently lost them in the divorce. So frustration mounted. I should have given Goddess a treat at this moment and driven to Phil’s which is only a few blocks away. But I can be hard headed and try too hard. So I kept at it. Cussing louder and louder as the evening progressed. The intensity built and I grew … PISSED!
Then I just collapsed on the sofa and stared at the silhouettes of Palm Trees out of the windows. Sadness filled the room. Goddess tried again but I had nothing for her. The game was on but I wasn’t watching. The Palm Trees danced in the moist wind.
I sat there for a long time like that. Then came this message from nowhere of the promise of dreams of things to come. So I went to bed. And laid there waiting for those dreams.
