Dicky nods head, stroking his beard and says softly to the ceiling, "I understand."
The other members of the group, all women, stare at me without expression.Sarah stares too, sitting beside me, listening every intently. She's heard me say this before taking it as a negative reflection of our life though I never meant it that way. Now she seems to be hearing it in a different way.
Ours is a crazy schizophrenic life. A large portion of each day is filled with quiet, solitary work that demands lots of concentration with little interaction with others. That's the Monkish part, working from home managing virtual relationships and occasionally orchestrating "community".
When Sarah's girls are here its a relentless series of constant demands and a schedule that takes both of us to manage. We're always carting them some place or the other, often meeting in the middle to swap them off before heading in different directions again. We try to expose them to the world at our house to balance the cloistered upbringing they have at their fathers. Afterwards we collapse.
"If money wasn't an option and you were wealthy, what would be on your bucket list?" Nancy asks the members of the Book Club.
When it's my turn I say, "Well first I'd hire Dicky to take all my phone calls and tell everyone 'No' unless I over ride him to say 'Yes' to someone."
He gives me a thumbs up saying he would be good at it.
"Then I'd buy a large plush House Boat and park it just off shore. Sarah, the girls and I will live there and we'd move if it ever got cold. I never want to be cold again."
Several agree with the last sentiment.
I'm struck my goal to live on a House Boat to be secluded from others is when I'm already living a pretty cloistered life.
It's funny.
I want more of what I've already got.
Everyone leaves so Sarah and I end up in the kitchen sharing thoughts, concerns, hopes and dreams. She munches on toast while I sip wine. It is most intimate.
We are pleased with tonight's gathering of the Book Club. It's a lot like life. People come and go in it and we're never certain whose who but it keeps happening, bringing a joyous fellowship that boarders on worship.
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"Doing the Right Things for you" is a 28 day online journey to making life the way you know it should be for you. It begins December 2013. Check it out at www.meellc.com/onlineclass
