A Life being restored

I am full of introspection today. That's a funny thing to say given all of the days and nights that I've sat on this Beloved Back Deck ... alone ... pondering ... reflecting on things I'd done right and those things that had gone horribly wrong. I had long talks with God but She was mostly silent in response. Day in and day out, I would contemplate, pray, cry and wonder. The truth is I've spent several years immersed in introspection. This was tough because mine had been such an active, demanding life with never ceasing demands on my time. It seems as though all of these things stropped suddenly throwing me into this new world of exploring my consciousness, thoughts and feelings. Occasionally, people would come by and join me but it was mostly Goddess and me. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew this was the time to invest in myself. So I did. I had equity in the house, savings in the bank and a decent portfolio for the future. To the chagrin of advisers, I bought myself time and a place. In today's world, people aren't suppose to such things ... time is money and you're expected to go where the demands are. I did the opposite. Accounts were diminished but "He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His names sake," to quote one of the sixteen versions of the King James Bible. The Hebrew is much more to the point ... God causes my life to return. That's not to say I'm done. I am not. I'm living a pretty full life right now, surrounded by people who love me, sun rises and sunsets, ocean breezes and a calmness that is hard to get used to. I'm still fighting demons from the past ... unresolved conflicts and hurts and the damaging ways in which I got through them ... and the things I must to do continue this path are becoming clearer. This morning I had to drive into Savannah. The High Tide and Marsh grass were adorned with diamonds sprinkled by the sun. I had the top down and sucked in the salt air. I hit the traffic when I hit the city. Red lights managed stop and go, hocking horns tried to change the flow, cars fought for parking places, lines were formed and people either seemed incredibly bored or very angry. I passed through these things as a shadow ... no longer a part of that world. Besides, I've got lots to do ... A few more demons to exorcise ... a couple of more unresolved things to bury ... a love to celebrate ... a future to continue building ... smiles to have ... life to live. Mine's being restored.