Sunday, August 21, 2016

Tybee Island's Latest Religious Controversy

I know what happened with Tybee Island's latest religious controversy.

There's a book Preacher's buy called "Silent Words Spoken Loudly" which is filled with cute sayings to put on their Church sign.

 They pray people driving passed will think, "This is a cool Church which we must alter all of our plans to attend because it says ... 'THIS CHURCH IS PRAYER CONDITIONED.'"

There's another titled "The Little Book of Church Signs" which great theological funniness like "Tasting forbidden fruit creates many jams."

There's no scientific knowledge to prove cute sayings on Church signs even get people to slow down ... much less attend.

The reason these books exists is because Preachers can't think of anything to put on their Church Signs week in and week out ... they're too ... busy ... not thinking for themselves.

THAT'S NOT TO SAY they're not thinking Preachers because some of my best friends are thoughtful Clergy and I read everything they write because ... they can write.

Unlike Preachers who buy little books with cute sayings like "Under the same management for 2000+ years" ... the Pastor's 24.

I'm sure this is the root of Tybee Island latest religious controversy where the Baptist Sign reads, "The Last Time Things Were This Messed Up, I Sent a Flood ... God."

It could be construed the Baptists do not like people in Louisiana ... currently being flooded ... with numerous people drowning.

I'm pretty certain it's little more than the next page in "The Great American Book of Church Signs" filled with wonderful encouraging words like ... "FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN! Details Inside."

The Baptist Preacher merely turned to the next page in the book and changed the sign.

Islanders however are in an uproar ... having just paid the Flood Insurance Bill ... which the Government increased again this year ... because poor North Carolina can no longer pay it's own way ... so the entire East Coast was asked to help ... at gunpoint.

I'm pretty sure the Baptist have no idea whatsoever they are the scorn of a religious controversy ... again.

I think everybody should just calm down.

Next week, the Baptist Preacher will flip the page in the little book he bought, and the sign will read, "Experts Made The Titanic! Armatures Made the Ark!"

Passerby's will probably not even notice rushing to get in line at The Breakfast Club.