The neighbor across the street who normally gardens in her underwear, which caused the dogs to bark violently, has taken to wearing sweatpants while gardening in the rain.
The other neighbor who complained, the one who rarely comes outside, hasn't been seen in days. (There is suspicion she runs a Meth Lab on the island but the Tybee Island Police Department have too busy to investigate because of Marlin Monroe's annual Christmas Oyster Roast Police payoff dinners they've been attending over the past few weeks.)
Still, Winston, the little gay dog, is traumatized by the entire episode.
On the other hand, Goddess doesn't seem to care, laying there with empty pipe bowls clutched in her yellow tip stained paws.
Sarah is sick about the entire thing and now refuses to get out of bed.
The other day, I couldn't take Winston, the little gay dog's, growling any more so I slapped him.
"Act like a man," I said.
"Meow," he replied.
Goddess stumbled outside shaking her head, apparently retrieving her stash.
"Don't hit him," Sarah whimpered from her bed ... so I put his new Christmas sweater on him ... it says "I shit rainbows" ... and put him outside with Goddess in hopes that she would mellow him out a little.
I don't know what else to do. Crime is big on Tybee and the Tybee Island Police Department is convinced that Winston, the little gay dog, and Goddess are the root of it all.
"Please", said our friend Jen the other night. "The Tybee Island Police Department came to my house, banged on my door and informed me they were giving me a citation because of my barking dog."
We stared at her in disbelief that another family was experiencing the profiling we are.
"You mean the one that died of a heart attack in my lap three months ago," she asked?
"Yes," the Tybee Island Police Department answered as they handed her the citation.
One thing I'll say about living on Tybee Island ... somebody is always on top of things.
