I'm sitting here sipping black coffee because I have to go to the Doctor's office and she is going to draw blood and if I have anything other than black coffee she can't do it. This means that I would have to go see her twice and I don't want to do that.
Don't get me wrong, I like her. The first time we met she walked in a touched me a lot. What's not to like?
Then she said, "Mike you have high Cholesterol. Though it is hereditary we can treat it with diet and exercise."
"I run five miles a day," I said.
"Drugs it is then," she announced whipping out her prescription pad.
Having started the J. C. Lewis Health Center I learned a great deal about how health care works in the United States. The main thing I learned is to always demand samples ... even of the drugs that you may not be on. You'll be surprised at what you can walk out with!
She put on medications and I took them religiously ... until I ran out. Then I called the pharmacy and had them call Marilyn my Doctor because I didn't want to do it. The drugs were extended for another few months but then she cut me off, hence today's visit to see her.
This is another thing that I've learned about health care in America. The primary purpose is not to make people well but to manage their illness in ways that produce a profit! The bottom line is it's a business.
If I was going to continue to get drugs from my Doctor, even though they were keeping me well, I am going to have to go see her, pay for the office visit, and listen to a lecture on why I have get blood work when she orders me to get it. She's done this before.
"It's on the south side of town," I'll explain. "It's too far."
She will look at me and shake her head but not say anything.
I won't say anything either so it becomes a bit of a stand off.
Finally she's write down the tests she wants, make me pay her for it, then send me on my way with clear instructions to give blood.
She will also renew the prescriptions for my medications which I will have filled and religiously take.
Then I will throw away the orders for blood work and wait on her to get pissed again, cut off the meds and force me to return to her office ... paying up front of course.
After two years, she's finally caught on and I've been instructed that as soon as I pay for the office visit a bunch of nurses are going to tackle me and stick a needle in my arm to draw blood.
Who said Doctors aren't smart people? They're like preachers ... they got a book to go by ... it can't be that hard.
Anyway I'm trying to be good patient today. And I have to go to the grocery store anyway.
Plus I've made a list of the samples I want.
And that is why the United States has the best health care in the world! Just ask any elected official who recieves contributions from the Medical Societies of Savannah, Georgia, the United States or the plain old fashion graft that comes from passing money under the table.
