Rolling over in bed, yawning and stretching, withdrawing my arms from around my wife ... because we sleep like a jigsaw puzzle ... all interconnecting pieces ... I thank God for Sarah to start every day.
Tiptoeing through the darkness, she slumbers with Winston, The Little Gay Dog, who is the spark plug of our house ... a divine Diva ... who worships Goddess, plays with Gypsy the cat, ... Winston, TLGD endures the rest of us but absolutely adores Sarah.
Goddess and Gypsy follow me in the dark as I make my way downstairs to the outdoor shower.
Quickly shutting the door so Gypsy can't get out, Goddess and I stumble out into a dark morning with a billion blazing stars. I turn on the hot water, say the second prayer of the day ... "Thank you for letting me be here again" ... stick my toothbrush in my mouth and pee outside.
Goddess pees outside too.
Gypsy is madder than hell and is howling because I didn't let her outside.
"SHUT UP!" I yell so he doesn't wake Sarah up.
Standing under the streaming water under a perfect Heaven, I'm suddenly focused on Maddie ... Sarah's oldest ... who's been asking me for love advice as she chases the lust of her life.
She's 13.
"Stick a tongue through his heart," is the last thing I told her.
Sarah doesn't know I told her that yet.
I probably need to refine that before my wife finds out.
Wide awake now, Goddess and I leap the stairs over the pissed off cat, and in the darkness I brush my hair, stick on French deodorant from St. Martin, the collogue Sarah likes most and black running shorts and a tee shirt.
In the dark I kiss my wife ... sometimes on the cheek ... a shoulder ... her back ... the top of her head ... occasionally her lips ... and once her foot when was slept upside down.
Throwing Goddess treats I head outside as a very angry Gypsy the cat tries to take my head off with his claws.
"Bastard," I mumble.
He hisses.
Later, I return from the Breakfast Club, kiss Sarah who's asleep in the shower, let the dogs out, give Gypsy the bastard cat treats, and prepare my wife's juice, coffee and breakfast.
Then I turn around, take a deep breath and admire her girls latest masterpieces hanging above the table.
Two are clearly for me ... a UGA football finger painting ... a hand cut "Pre-Father's Day" card ... and two for their Mom.
Every single day they make me smile.
"Man I couldn't do it," people tell me. "You've already raised children. Why in the world would you volunteer to do it again? That's crazy!"
Well, first it's Sarah and it all revolves around her.
She brings three little girls ... so I figure she's a lovely Sun with three planets revolving around her ... and they're funny globes bringing laugher, love, the most interesting dinner conversations and when their Mother doesn't want to kill them ... I do.
Honestly, they keep me young just like Winston, TLGD, keeps Goddess young.
Wandering into the kitchen for breakfast, Sarah's already got her game face on and is all business.
She is also ravishingly beautiful so I'm thinking about ravishing her while she's telling something or the other about what she has to do today.
"Are you listening to me?" she asks with a furrowed brow.
"About what?" I answer looking at the way her hair falls over her left eye.
My phone pings and it's Laurel ... her second child ... who has created a virtual game of a couple named Mike and Sarah ... sending me cartoon's of us kissing and in bubble wrap because it's X-rated.
"You and my Mom," is the caption.
"I love you," Sarah snaps all business like. "If you have time will you mop the floor ... especially the girl's bathroom?"
She's taking the stairs looking like a million bucks with her briefcase and Wonder Woman water bottle.
"Be careful," I say.
"You too," she says in a way that conveys she's way more worried about me than I am of her.
Then she's gone as I stand there with Goddess, Winston, TLGD, and Gypsy the Cat.
"Alright kids," I say, "let's go to work."
The phone rings and it's my son Jeremy.
Goddess, Winston, TLGD, and Gypsy all sense it's him somehow and go nuts barking, making strange sounds and licking themselves.
"Shut Up!" I yell.
I cannot imagine a more perfect way to live.
