"You little son-of-a-bitch," I say, "why are you getting a farmer's tan? Take the damn sweater off."
He ignores me, laying in the sun on his little doggie bed monogramed with the guys from One Direction watching his Kendal.
"What in the hell are you watching?" I scream because he's got it going full blast.He doesn't hear me.
He's riveted by Miley Cyrus' performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. He keeps playing it over and over. He loves her and is sticking his tongue out every time she sticks hers out.
I throw up a little in my mouth and choke it back down before yelling, "I'm going to tell Uncle Johnny you piece of ..." but stop when Goddess meanders out to survey the situation.
She looks at Winston, the little gay dog, and then at me and then back at him again.
I shrug my shoulders.
She shakes her head and shakes her long golden hair before taking a quick puff from her medicine pipe. She strolls over to Winston, the little gay dog, hikes her hind leg and pees on his Kendal. Goddess shakes her long golden hair again, winks at me and picks up her pipe.
Winston, the little gay dog, is furious and starts jumping up and down while barking furiously. He looks and sounds remarkably like Miley Cyrus.
Goddess giggles and strolls back inside.
Shaking my head I turn up the music on my computer. Gary Lewis and the Playboys drowns out his Miley Cyrus.
God!
It's a Monday!
______________________________
An eccentric life dotted with eclectic characters pop from the pages of award winning author Micheal Elliott’s newest book Sandy Bottoms & Duct Taped Hearts. Over 200 pages of his musings immerse you in a world of headshaking wonder, gut wrenching laughter, heart touched tenderness and empathetic tears.
Never letting the truth stand in the way of a good story, Elliott’s ninth book takes you on a wild journey of “Wow! Really! I can’t believe that!” every day moments. Sandy Bottoms & Duct Taped Hearts exemplifies his gift of capturing common thoughts and painting them perfectly into words. Release date (pre-order books ship) is September 23, 2013.
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