"Can you do it?" Sarah mumbles through the darkness from her side of the bed, but I'm already heaving myself up to tend to our little girl.
"Da!," she says, hugging her baby and blanket, "some man tried to take me and you kept saying, "Give me my kid back! Give me my kid back!" but you weren't able to but Mom did so it's okay. It wasn't really a bad dream."
Shaking my head, I sigh.
I'm no longer the superhero in my little girl's world.
It's always Mom who saves the day!
It's true too because the wonder of a woman who married me makes the world safe and working for each of us.
The regular nighttime queasiness hits and I rush to the bathroom, contend with emptying syndrome, retching and nausea. Timing my shower between the first and second episode, I dress as quickly as possible to be available to Che in case she wakes and let Sarah sleep.
Before opening the bathroom door, I hear them talking in bed. Che's explaining her not-so-bad dream to Wonder Woman.
Che follows me to the living room, carrying her baby and dragging her blanket, and lays her head in my lap.
It's 3:47 in the morning.
Che has school when the morning comes but she refuses to leave. "If you're on the sofa then why can't I be on the sofa with you?"
For three hours we cuddle, interrupted by numerous bouts of emptying syndrome, nausea and retching.
"DA!" she sighs in frustration but she waits for me each time and we resume our positions.
"Che," I say, tickling her, "c'mon, I need you to help me smoke!"
She follows me as through a Nurse and as I hit the pipe, she giggles before proclaiming, "Make more clouds Daddy!"
Inside we resume our cuddling and for the first time in 3 hours the nausea evaporates and I feel in command of my body for the first time today.
The sun comes up. Sarah gracefully floats into the kitchen for breakfast, immaculately dressed and focused on a day full of work from home. Che rushes off so her Mom helps with her hair.
I smoke more weed and count my blessings.
Most nights, I fight through the impacts of chemo alone and in the dark but tonight, in the soft blue light of our flat screen, our little girl kept me company.
Her Mommy saved her yet again from the evils of the world and, because she did, I got 4 hours of pure, unfiltered, constant and tangible love to hold, touch, smell, and repeatedly kiss.
It's tough not being the superhero but it's pretty obvious those days are over for me.
Sarah already had way more super powers than I ever did anyway!
I ain't gonna lie, this part of "managing" my cancer is hard!
Che leaps on the sofa, bright red lipstick on her perfectly, angelic face with blue eyes glistening full of life and excitement.
"Let's wait outside Daddy," she excitedly says, sliding into her oversized backpack and grabbing my hand.
On the way out, Wonder Woman flies by, kisses me on the lips while making her way to the coffee, and says, "I'll join y'all in a few minutes."
Sitting on a table, my skinny legs dangle in space under the canopy of blank, blue, canvas of unpainted sky, watching Che rush to her friends walking to school past our house.
