"Okay! This time! I don't think you're capable of the next one. Never mind. You can't do it," I say dismissively waving my hand."
"I CAN TOO DADDY" Che defiantly shoots back.
"You cannot," I answer taking my eyes off our excited tanned, baby-turned-little-girl and gazing at the perfectly quaint water park my wife found us a last minute deal to execute an escape.
God we needed an escape!
Che stomps her feet in the water, marches straight to me, splashes water in my face, grabs my cheeks, stares directly into my eyes, breaths hot air at me and yells, "I CAN TOO!"
"Fine," I say uncaringly. "If you want to try. No girls ever done it before though."
"DADDY!" she screams!
"Okay," I answer disinterested, "Swim under those three fountains without getting wet, then stick your face DIRECTLY into those six fountains, and if you survive that," I grab her dripping face staring directly into her eyes, "WALK UNDER THOSE TWO DRIPPING MUSHROOM'S AND NOT TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT," I release her chin, "and if you can still breath, float on your back WITHOUT TURNING OVER until you touch my feet!"
"Watch this old man!" she determinedly grins, belly flopping into the pool.
Turning up my ear pods so "The Boat Drunks" sing about my friend the "Hollow Man," I watch Che strategically maneuver her head under spraying fountains and take a moment.
I hope Sarah's resting. Cassidy joined us at the last minute so when one child isn't clamoring for her Mother's attention, the other one is, and if they're not, then I usually am.
Her lone goal on this trip is to float alone down the Lazy River but it's not looking good so far.
A little blond hair boy excitedly jumps in the pool directly in front of me. disrupting my bliss.
A tiny boat in one hand, a dinosaur in the other and a Wonder Woman action figure in his mouth, the kid's all smiles.
A giant splash erupts at my feet as Che pops out the water grinning, grabbing me in the face, looking directly into my eyes, and yelling while water drips down her face, "I DID IT DA!"
In a nanosecond, spying the little boy, she’s in his face, saying something I don't comprehend, grabs the boat, takes off for the safety of the dripping mushrooms as the boy, breaks into a grin before chasing after her.
"I don't leak very much," the Hollow Man continues.
"A strong woman marches in, takes what she wants and walks away," a woman says.
A short, beached blond hair, pasty white skin woman, wearing an orange-and-white bikini is grinning at me. She's about my age. Wears glasses. Her two front teeth have a gap between them and her lips never quite cover them when she closes her mouth.
"I'm sorry," I say, understanding it's me she's talking to.
"Your granddaughter ..." she begins.
"MY DAUGHTER," I snap.
Her bottom lip covers what the top lip doesn't.
"You gotta be careful of girls like that," she goes on.
"Yeah?"
"Oh, I can pick em out," she explains. "They wear leopard skin print bikinis'."
"Really?" I answer simultaneously stifling a laugh.
"Oh yeah! Easy to spot."
It takes everything inside of me to not fall face down in the pool laughing.
Che's playing with all of the toys beside the six splashing fountains as the boy searches for them and his grandmother's suddenly concerned my daughter's not giving them back.
I laughingly make my way over and hurriedly retrieve the toys from Che, who shrugs her shoulder and keeps playing without them.
I rush to get back to Sarah on the other side of the pool.
Tossing the toys to the grandmother, she smiles as I laughingly make my way to my wife, quickly plop beside her and tell her way just happened.
My girl in the leopard print bikini and I hug and laugh like crazy for all the world to see.
“What’s so funny?” Cass asks, lounging in her own chair, also wearing a leopard print bikini.
