It is a typical travel day save that it’s happening on a Sunday. I have meetings in Boston tonight and throughout tomorrow then return on Tuesday. I walked Goddess and said goodbye to the marsh and Back River. It is going to be a glorious day on Tybee and I’m going to miss it to spend half the day in airports and then the rest in below freezing temperatures.
So I rush to the airport and because I go by my middle name “Micheal” instead of my first name “William” it can cause problems. You know how when you fill out most anything it asks for your first name, your middle initial and your last name?
Today it caused problems. Rather than booking my flight as I normally do, a travel agent did it. So when Delta tried to log me in with my frequent flyer status, Homeland Security caught the discrepancy in the names and immediately assumed that I’m a terrorist!
I’m wearing jeans, a black long shelve sweater and tennis shoes. I’m also carrying a brief case. This is apparently one of the profile pictures of terrorism. Maybe it’s because I haven’t cut my hair in a long time. Who knows?
Regardless the Delta agent and their T.S.A. representative spent about half-an-hour on the phone working everything out for me. I stood there checking on my friends on Face Book with my I-phone.
Then I made it through security who obviously did not get the memo that Homeland Security had just been checking me out. So I rushed to the gate to board the plane and of course it was delayed.
So I’m sitting here wondering about things. Airport contemplation is different from the island brand. I’m in transition from Tybee Island to Boston today. I’ve controlled a lot about how this came about but, as the above illustrates, there is a lot that’s out of my control. Ultimately I’ll make it where I’m trying to go.
It can be a metaphor for my life. The past year has been one of transition for me. Much of who I was is no longer the case. The family that I was part of is no more. Relationships continue but I am no longer defined as a husband. I’m no longer suddenly single. I live alone with a dog.
What I do no longer defines who I am. It defines who I was. Other people now oversee the things that I helped put together and in no time at all they split it in half. Even what I built is no longer defined as it was. I can’t even point to what I used to be.
What I’ve actually done for the past year is get back in touch with who I am through writing, reflecting, long walks, and circling myself with a small group of friends who took it upon themselves to define who they are.
I’ve been told this has led to me becoming a softer person, no longer relentlessly driven to succeed on saving the world from itself. I take my time now, delighting in nature, little things, friends and opportunities that come to me. Friends who love me bring me gifts of long conversations, laughter and are forever leaving notes and presents on my door, the porch, the beloved back deck and in my house. Yesterday I got home from marching in a parade and one was lying on my bed!
Transition means that we move from something towards something else. The past is being left. The future waits for us to grab and mold. We start to imagine it and then it takes hold of our heart and before we know it is the future we care about and not the past (Save perhaps as a celebration of who we used to be).
Unless we stop the transition by choosing to try our best to keep things the way that they are! A lot of what is wrong with the world, and the individuals who comprise it, is that far too many try to keep things the way that they are … scared of change and the cost that often goes along with it, not believing that things get better.
When this year of transition began for me I was tired and worn out of the way things were in my life. But I kept trying anyway. There were a lot of things wrong but I’m not a quitter so I kept at it until it all eventually came apart.
I gave it my best! I have no doubts about that. The only regret that I have is that I didn’t start this journey when I first began to imagine the possibilities of a new future. Instead I listened to the counsel of others who wanted to keep things the way that they were. And it ended up being at my expense.
I think about these things watching people wait on planes that are delayed. They are agitated and frustrated.
I don’t mind. A new future is being imagined that will be far better than the past and its already worked its way into my heart.
