Monday, October 5, 2015

Now's Better

The funny thing about breaking out of a life you hate ... and succeeding ... is you find yourself in a whole NEW life!

It IS wonderful!

It's also quite hard.

People, things, resources you once relied on are no longer real and there's a sense of loss.

"WHAT?! ...You were always there for me ... that's what I did to get through ... what do you mean I can't do this anymore?"

On the other hand, everything's BRAND NEW!

Different people, resources and things take the place of past things and you grow into new and better ways.

The main reason is because you're different ... meaning I'm different ... hopefully learning from the past ... exiling the bad and building on the good of who you are ... meaning who I am.

The other main reason is because ... if you're lucky ... you've managed to surround yourself with better people than the ones you used to love ... which isn't to say you weren't with some great people but you were also with bad ones ... meaning ... I'm really just talking about myself but it's easier to say if I drag you into it.

But I believe life is supposed to get better as you go along ... I know mine has ... but it reminds me of the Grateful Dead's "What a long, strange trip it's been!"

No question it's been that!

But I find myself incredibly fascinated, enthralled, exhilarated and damn in love with where I am these days!

The intriguing thing is learning how to let go of "what was" to fully embrace "what is."

The funny thing is I'm uncertain if I ever really appreciated everything I had before because I always wanted more ... now I got more ... and sometimes miss what I had.

That's just stupid ... and I'm smart enough to know stupid by now!

You give up then to get now.

Which reminds of Jesus hanging on a cross ... to get to now ... because NOW's better.

I have to agree.