Monday, May 21, 2012

Life's Moving Parts

"I feel like I've been buried under sand and been trying to dig myself out," she wrote. "Now I've got my head out and my arms up but still the weight of everything is holding me down." "What's everything," I fired back? She told me and it wasn't pretty. A single mother working in a bad economy that doesn't seem to be getting better in spite of what the Government says. Children who refuse to get well in a health care system that treats symptoms and not causes. The support system that exists for her is on Life Support so loneliness is overwhelming. She goes to church and prays a lot because her options are so limited. She mostly worries because that's the one thing she has most control over. Whatever smiles come are gleaned from the Internet, Face Book, and those moments when you just laugh because there are no more tears. In response, I did my best my best impersonation of Tom Kohler ... "Uh, huh." I tried to channel Bob Marley. "Every little thing is gonna be alright" but it gets me thinking that, in the end, it wasn't alright for Bob. He died a stupid death over something easily treatable. His religious beliefs prevented him from having a toe amputated. So every little thing wasn't alright after all. He died. But he still believed. She said "Thanks for listening. And thanks for writing every day." And that was it. I try to channel Conner and the Carnival of Friends where the belief system is, when it's all going to shit ... have a party and enjoy it. On Tybee there is a group I love. Whenever a Hurricane is getting ready to slam the island, they defy Government orders to leave and nail themselves shut in Doc's Bar. They have a good time while they wait. So far, it's all worked out. Somebody either broke in or somebody broke out and ... the sun was shinning ... skies were blue ... the ocean was calm ... and people were smiling. Every little thing was alright after all. That's life huh? Sometimes it is and sometimes it's not. I'm in the middle of this crazy time too. Life has a lot of moving parts. We're consolidating households which is an oxymoron ... we're building new lives. Of course we come with baggage but "we're looking for baggage that goes with our own" (Jonathan Larson) so we try to blend the things we love from our pasts. We love it, believe in what we're doing and believe in each other. Every chance we get we have a party for two. All of our closest friends seem to be in transition too ... well, not Conner ... he's having a party ... but everybody else is trying to figure things out. Sitting her on the Beloved Back Deck, I'm mindful that I have things to do. LOTS of things! But I think it's all gonna be alright. Every little thing ... is gonna be alright. Then again, I'm an eternal optimist and a hopeless romantic. How can it not be alright? OK, I have to call Conner. We need a party. There is simply too much to celebrate and too many bad things to make fun of which is what good friends do. There is no magic answer or Holy Benediction that fixes things. There is just this ... now ... only here and now and what we have and what we don't have. This is our life. Thank God.