We'd had a lovely day, watching a basketball game at the Y, quick shopping, nice lunch on a beautiful sunny January day on the island, but I could "feel it coming in the air tonight."
In an effort to thwart the coming demons, I cooked dinner for two alone at home, transforming the tiny kitchen table into a candle lit romantic setting. Grilled steak, sauteed squash and garden salad were tasty. Goddess and Winston, the little gay dog, lay under our feet. My date is beautiful and the conversation was good but it ended all too quickly.
Afterwards we walked outside to look at the majesty of the moon on a crystal clear night. The crashing of the waves were like music. The belt of Orion danced in the sky.
In the distance though was loud chatter of someone having a party. Their conversation was squirrels and apparently unhappiness reigned.
Back inside Sarah busied herself and I turned and faced the coming demons. I may as well welcome them.
Did you ever watch the old television show "Kung Fu"? A Shalion Monk expert in the martial arts found himself in the old west for some inexplicable reason and while he always won in the end, when he found himself in a bad situation or was simply overwhelmed, he would sit down in the lotus position and wait. Acceptance of your situation is the first step in dealing with it.Somehow I've incorporated this way of coping. If Sarah's mad at me, I find myself in an unpleasant situation or ... demons are coming, I grow quiet and accept it. It's not a time to fight back, get angry or blame anything. It merely is what it is.
So they came in the demonic forms of worrying about the timing of finances, understanding there are those who wish me ill and the sad fact that I've not helped myself sometimes when I could. It leads to a spiritual question. "If someone spends their life trying to do good, helping others and sharing themselves like we are challenged to, why are their such demons?"
Why do people willingly cause others ill? Why do so many merely not give a damn? Why is the goal of so many to get in beat out everyone surrounding them?
I don't know.
Yet, instead of making me believe there is no God, or that God has abandoned us ... it makes me believe more.
The prophet Isaiah said, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, [that is] what God has prepared for those who love him."
In a night when there is only darkness, the sounds are those of discontent, and hearts are cold ... this is what I believe.
I don't know why.
