Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Building the Now


“Do you go to St. Martin?” he asked.

I stood swaying in the sunshine watching thousands of Flying Fish skirt over the dark blue water. It was mesmerizing! Translucent tiny things jumped from the ocean and flew twenty or thirty yards before making small splashes in the deep.

“I do,” I said turning my head to see a chubby man wearing a baseball cap. His grin was lopsided and his voice a high pitched whine that I instantly didn’t like.

“I recognized your Georgia cap” he said moving the lopsided grin to the other side of his lip.

I love my UGA cap! It’s black but almost faded white from the sun, sea and salt. The bill is ripped and frays hang down in my eyes. There are three rips in the top; one beside the logo and two on the back side. I don’t know how long I’ve worn it but it’s almost broken in.

“It’s probably the same cap,” I sighed.

“I remember you,” he grated on, “and your wife. She was trying to get a job down there.”

It was the worst thing he could possibly have said. All these years later, I’ve come to understand that she had begun the process of leaving me long before she actually did. She just kept increasing the distance between us until I was no longer significant enough to return.

“Is she here?”

I pointed to Sarah reading a book and working on her tan.

The chubby man walked to her and looked down. “I don’t remember you at all,” he said with a confused look.

“Oh well,” the lopsided grin returned, “Hi.”

And he left.

He just wasn't worth the energy to set straight.

Returning to the Flying Fish, I fought off the urge to allow a bad mood to overtake me. I’m happy with the life I have now. Sarah is full of love and joy and I’m crazy about her. We’re building this life and delight in the things we are doing.

The past is mostly a collection of stories that I enjoy sharing. There are some though that I never return to. They’re just not worth the energy!

Bending over, I kiss my love on the top of her head. The fish jump for joy. And we continue to build the NOW.