Monday, November 10, 2014

Forgiving Myself

John Cleese, the famous Monty Python comedian, recently said that in writing his autobiography, he was able to revisit the episodes of his past and forgive himself.

How do you forgive yourself?

"As you get older," he explains, "you look back and realize nothing matters anymore. You look back on those times when you sat there thinking 'Am I going to kill myself?' ... 'Why did she dump me?' ... or "I did a bad {thing}' ... and you realize none of it matters."

"You look back on it completely forgiving yourself and not taking all the pain and angst as yours."

Later he says, "I love my life because I just don't give a FU$K anymore ... I remember very clearly watching the American election results and Nixon was elected and I actually cried ... I cared that much at that point."

I found myself completely nodding in agreement as he says these things.

Maybe it's because I'm older too ... though I don't think of myself that way ... Hell, I play in a rock band again and combining it with Church! ... something I started attempting when I was in my teens!

Perhaps it's because I think John Cleese is both funny and insightful.

Certainly we agree politically.

"If someone asked me," he continues, "if you'd like to have dinner with David Cameron (The British Prime Minister), I would say 'No.' I'd like to stay home and play with my cats."

I completely get that!

I'd rather stay home with Sarah and the girls than have to endure politicians, famous people and most religious functions.

I'd prefer to talk to my kids on the phone.

Honestly, looking back, I did the best I could given where I was at then so I really don't think much about it.

I did the best I could.

I gave everything I had to give in those days.

Thank God they're over.

I am completely in love with the now!

And as crazy as a ride as it's been to get here, I'm completely in love with me too!

And I'm crazy as a loon about Sarah.

That's how you forgive yourself.

By loving yourself.

And then giving yourself away to someone who loves you back.