Though the wind continues to blow, the sun shines brightly making things more cheery than the cloudy bluster of the past several days. It was warm enough last night for me to sit outside with my bare feet resting near the fire in the Chiminea my kids gave me, though blue jeans and a long sleeve was necessary.
It's a time of transition.
I can feel it in the air.
I can see it in a number of friends.
I can sense it in me.
This time a year ago, Sarah and I were planning our first Thanksgiving together. Two years ago Goddess struggled dealing with little girls who were suddenly around. Three years ago, I lived a completely different life. I was a completely different person.
For the past several months, I've been working to start a new business which is now coming together. We've accomplished a lot though as with anything new there are so many things to be done. It's a communications company that weaves visual story-telling through both social and traditional media streams. And we do it so the customers can do what they do best ... their business! We also bring the one thing that most media managers can't do for clients ... we do it every day! (www.letustellit.com)
A lot of people are surprised because it's a regular American for-profit corporation. My career was born in the church where I learned radial behavior because Scriptures teach radical things. It progressed to decades of non-profit work where I gave myself completely away to things I believed and I learned an important lesson ... if you give yourself away ... people will take it.
I was luckier than most. Somehow I'd amassed enough capital to finance myself through an adventure of self-renewal. In reality I think it was self-discovery (when you're so busy giving yourself away you forget who you really are which is really where the whole concept of being reborn comes from).
A long time ago I wrote a book, "PARTNERS IN GRACE." My friend Frank Stanton coined the title. It's about how grace just happens ... unexpected gifts from God if you believe in God ... serendipity or karma if you don't ... but each of us are lucky enough to have good things happen. Sprinkles magically appear on ice cream, music comes from nowhere, in the midst of loss you find things ... you learn you can't have resurrections without crucifixions which is a bitch of a lesson.
For me, a carnival of friends burst into my life to take control when I wasn't in charge of much anymore. Other friends were raised from the dead and rolled away the stone preventing the light from entering. Bar Church was born. Sarah came home.
Now the capital needed to allow time for grace to occur is dwindling so it was to be replenished which is the bitchy thing about money ... you always have to replace it! The more you need, the more it takes. The more you spend, the more you need.
I was thinking these things at 2:43 this morning. Something was different though. Sarah lay beside me so all was calm, all was bright. One of the friends who raised himself from the dead wrote me demanding that it's time for us to make our own music again. The Carnival of Friends had a party and the evidence is online today. The gift my kids give me continues to throw warmth.
"I can feel it coming in the air coming in the air tonight," Phil Collins sings and everybody groans because we've heard it so many times.
But it's the next line that has me captured this morning.
"Oh Lord, I've been waiting for this moment all my life."
