Besides I've already been to Hell and it's not all that.
I know ... I know ... my conservative friends are saying, "Oh you just wait till you die and really go to Hell! Then you'll know what it's really all about?"Whatev's ...
It's funny when I write about religion because while lots of people read it, no one's really got much to say ... except ... that I'm going to Hell.
Nobody ever holds up a finger and yells, "GO TO HEAVEN!"
They stick up a particular finger yelling "GO TO HELL!"
When did Hell become so popular?
"Go to Heaven for the climate," Mark Twain quips. "Hell for the company."
"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the Saints," Bill Joel adds.
I resonate with both sentiments.
Besides I don't have to go to Hell.
It comes to me.
"Hell is portable," Guy Sayles once told me. "You don't have to go to it. It comes to you."
I think most people, even the conservative ones, can agree on that.
If others aren't putting us through Hell ... we're perfectly capable of doing it ourselves.
And the sad fact is ... WE DO!
Satan's got to have the easiest job in the world!
Well, I'm not having anything to do with it and as far as I'm concerned, Satan can go straight to Hell ... though I'm not sure that makes any sense.
The point is we're all pretty hard on ourselves ... and that makes no sense either!
Why in the Hell do we beat ourselves up when we'll really just doing the best we can?
So ... to Hell with Hell!
I'm going to enjoy the Hell out of today!
I'm not going to give myself Hell and, to the best of my ability, I'm not going to give anybody else Hell either.
I am just going to enjoy myself ... who I'm with ... where I'm at ... what I'm doing ... the temperature ... the absence of shoes ... or clothes ... the conviction God loves me ... flowers are blooming ... my friends are doing okay ... and I feel pretty good.
You know ... without Hell ... it's pretty heavenly.
