Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Listening to the Ocean

I dunno.

It's the letdown after knocking off all of the things that you're supposed to do. Yesterday was the culmination of a lot and there is no question it ended up successfully. Plus there is outstanding stuff but the timelines are not so short. I have time.

So I'm taking it.

Why rush?

I'm one to think things through anyway ... to feel my way.

In spite of a reputation for shooting from the hip, throwing caution to the wind, being spontaneous and defying other people's expectations ... I actually think most things through first. I am thoughtful of other people which made collaboration much easier to achieve. I could care less about who gets the credit so long as the task is completed.

I contemplate. I muse. I sit with my feet propped on the beloved back deck and stare at the stars for so long ... I hear what they are saying. The roar of the ocean brings me messages from the deepest parts. Songs written long ago bring me fresh messages. Things written by people long dead come back to life for me. Mentors who are long gone from my life speak to me daily.

So after the power meeting conference call with people scattered across the world ... I exhaled. I'd done things I hadn't done in a long time ... I raised a lot of money for some good things.

So I celebrated. I went off island to find my best friend and we ... had fun.

Then we collected with our other best friends and ... laughed and drank ... smoked and cussed ... and made plans.

Returning home, I found the beauty of the beloved back deck. The stars shined as they sang like a choir. The ocean roared. A warm December breeze kissed my skin. Love descended upon me.

Now I make my new list of things to do. Afterwards I must make a Christmas list. I have to get a tree because I bought lights for one that I don't have yet. I purchased my first present of the season yesterday and am quite proud of that accomplishment. There are likely Christmas cards in my Post Office Box though I haven't checked it in a week.

My phone buzzes ... Atlanta, Pittsburgh and New York all want something at the same time.

I sigh.

It reminds me of the past thirty years. There was always stuff to do. I let it intrude on things that were far more important. I don't ever want to do that again.

But the phone reminds me that there are things to do. Work to be continued. Water bills to be contested. Renovations to completed. Manuscripts to compile.

Ah ... to hell with it.

The ocean is telling me that my bare feet need sand.

I always listen to the ocean.