On her other side sits a man who waited in line beside her for the world famous restaurant to open and he's suddenly intrigued by our conversation.
"What do you mean about what?" she demands in a very high pitch Soprano on steroids voice that can shatter stained glass.
Simultaneously the staff stops cooking, waitressing, bussing and washing dishes because her voice is that grating.
"I dunno," I continue. "You talking about achieving world peace? Ending homelessness? Getting Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi to sleep together? How to prevent a last second score in a soccer game?"
"Did y'all watch?" she suddenly squeals.
The man on the other side admits he did not stuffing a fork full of over easy eggs and hash browns in his mouth.
"I was out on a date with my wife," I explain.
"It was so exciting," she claps and I swear her Dolly Parton hair moves.
Taking a sip of coffee she stares at me intensely with deadly eyes that betray the sweetness of her voice.
"I want to know what you do for a living Silly," she explains with a politician's smile.
Not wanting to talk, I give my stock answer that always shuts people up who want to know what I do for a living.
"I'm a Southern Baptist Minister," I confidently announce dropping my voice two octaves.
"Ooh," she claps again. "I'm Baptist ... Pastor."
"Shit," I mutter as Jessie the cook and Denise the waitress stifle giggles.
Darkness returns to her eyes as she stares at me again while taking another sip of coffee and she dubiously says, "You don't look like a Baptist Minister."
"Thanks," I say taking a sip of my own coffee.
The man on her other side laughs and if looks could kill she would have sent him straight to Hell in that instant.
"Alright," I say standing up. "I'm going to go proselytize or something."
Confusion fills her face.
"Save the heathens," I explain.
"Oh," she nods. "Is that why you dress wear black running shorts, a vulgar tee shirt and flip flops?"
"Yes man. I'm undercover for Jesus."
"God Bless you," she says as I leave and the entire staff bursts into glorious laughter.
