I'm here with Death, also known as the Grim Reaper, The Destroyer, The Hooded One, The Angel of Death, & The "God" of Death.Knowing he's been around, I fSHE's agreed to answer a few questions.
inally tracked him down personally and after much persuasion
The first thing to know about the Grim Reaper is she's a woman.
Honestly I'm a bit surprised and I don't know why I presumed Death is exclusively man work so I want to begin by apologizing.
"Oh that's all right. If I think people are too sexist I just take them ... you know what I'm saying?"
"You're still here so I'm alright with you."
"Besides I don't know why everybody's so shocked to find out I'm female. Like all women I'm into fashion and set the trend to dress in black ages ago! That's why so many women dress in black today and I'm happy to see it crossing over sexual lines and men dressing in black too ... especially in large urban areas and across Europe."
Thanks again. I've got several questions everybody's always wanted to ask you so do you mind if we get right to it?
"Not at all."
Good! Okay first question ... Beatles or Stones?
"Well ... obviously The Rolling Stones."
Because of "Sympathy for the Devil"?
"No! Because I'm so sick of the opening riff of 'Satisfaction' it inspires my work. That's why I haven't taken Keith Richards ... I think it hurts him more to listen to that damn opening riff every single day he's alive."
I see.
Next question ... you seem to work in 3's ... meaning people seem to die in 3's ... one ... two ... three ... why is that?
"Honestly it's because I like Sudoku. I can't get enough of it. So three at a time is all I can manage before I take a break and play some more."
Sudoku? Really?
"It's better than wasting time on Facebook."
Right. So ... why are you so white? I'm wearing sunglasses just to conduct this interview. Don't you ever get out in the sun? Have a little Beach time?
"Well I do own a time share in Myrtle Beach which I'm always using to comp customers ..."
Wait! Comp Customers? Who's your customer?
"Funeral Homes, elected officials and televangelists."
Of course ... um ... what can we expect from you in the future?
"More of the same. It's a pretty boring job but ... it's a living."
