Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday?

Exactly what is so good about Good Friday? I mean it wasn’t all that good for Jesus.

After a last supper that didn’t go so well with Judas storming out in the middle of dinner and Peter apparently apparently wanting chicken, Jesus needed to clear his head and wandered into the garden for fresh air. Everybody else took a nap so the food at the last supper must have been heavy (hence Peter’s insistence on chicken). Those who didn’t nap stayed at the table listening to the live music (choirs of angels singing sad songs).

“I don’t want to do this,” Jesus mumbles out loud.

Silence …

“Seriously, I don’t want to do this.”

Silence …

There is a rumble in the bushes and Judas storms back in with a crowd of his new best friends. They greet one another with a kiss.

Then all hell breaks loose. Jesus is arrested for terrorism, committing acts of violence in a Temple, holding a whip slashing it at bankers and loan sharks. He was evidently so pissed he turned over tables, yelled slanderous terms, and sent a religious congregation fleeing from a maniac.

Peter angrily wakes from up his nap violently taking the ear off of one of Judas’ friends. “It’s OK,” Jesus says.

Then there are three different court appearances during which Jesus offers no defense. Pilate sends him to Herod who sends him back to Pilate who is not happy about the workings of his own judicial system. Pilate was also having his own problems at home with a bitchy wife who was telling him how to do his job.

In midst of this a rooter crows … Peter listens to it. The chickens have come home to roost.

While all of this was going on Jesus was in Abu Ghraib getting the shit beat out of him. Then he’s hauled back to Court for his final appeal. He’s got nothing to say obviously satisfied that his actions speak for themselves.

An exasperated Pilate wants a plea.

Silence ...

Outraged at the silence, Pilate continues the interrogation by asking “What’s true here?” Jesus keeps quiet. Pilate’s frustration grows and he asked “Just who do you think you are …God?”

Jesus looks up, shrugs his shoulders, and speaks for the first time. “Whatever.”

“To hell with you,” Pilate barks.

Jesus is led outside and stripped naked. An already beaten up man is slapped with a chunk of wood and carries it through a snarling crowd … people who had cheered his last public appearance a short time ago now hated his guts with everything in them. Last week it was coverage by the liberal media but now it’s Fox News, Entertainment tonight, and someone says “the Tribe has spoken” … you’re out of here.

Before he dies, there is one last controversy. “Hey, hot shot! If you’re all that … get us out of this.”

“Aw, leave him alone. He ain’t done nothing like we did. Hey Jesus, keep me in mind.”

Jesus mutters … “Today.”

Knowing that he couldn’t help anybody, including himself, Jesus asks for one last favor. “Take care of my Mom … God I’m thirsty.”

Silence …

“Suck on this,” someone yells.

And then it was over. His last words are spoken. “It is finished.”

Then the heavens speak in thunder.

Back at the reassembled Temple the crime scene tape that had been put up to keep people out blows away.

A few hours later he was taken down by the friends who had stuck with him to the end. His body’s wrapped in an old quilt and laid on top of other bones.

Wanting no more controversy, Pilate put up crime scene tape and orders security.

And people went home …

And that was Good Friday.