Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Traveling to Alaska

The plane is either flying below 10,000 feet or is more than 100 miles from the Continental United States. This means that I cannot access the Internet which is frustrating cause I did all of this work that I want to send and be done with … but I can’t. Then I’m supposed to be talking to someone and … well … Bill Gates and Steve Jobs need to get off of their rich lazy asses and fix this.

NOW DAMMIT!

Besides that the movie is Jane Eyre which I care nothing about but there is nothing else to do so I thought I’d branch out. But my earphones don’t work in the speaker though they work fine in my I-Pod. As near as I can figure out by watching but not hearing … Jane Eyre is about this man who falls in love with a girl who wears corsets.

So I’m listening to my I-Pod trying to figure out why Canada is so damn big. We’re flying across Canada to get to Sarah Palin land and that is the reason that we are more than 100 miles from the Continental United States.

Hmmm …. I should ask the Pilot to land so that I can pick up affordable prescription medications. We don’t have any in the United States but they have tons in Canada which they are happy to mail to you.

I was so bored that I actually read newspapers today for the first time in … oh … a year. Back then I was always in the paper so I subscribed and looked for me … or what people said about me … or what I’d done … or what I hadn’t done. You can’t win.

(Oh Stacy … yeah … I hate to tell you this way … but my subscription to the Savannah Morning News has lapsed … I know, I know … but I love you dearly and lunch is on me.)

Anyway … in the newspapers that I read … the Atlanta Journal, The Wall Street Journal and the New York Times … there was evidently this crisis in Washington because America hasn’t paid its credit card bill and it’s due.

I don’t blame them. I hate paying my credit card bill! Who knew I spent that much at Bernie’s last month? Or that wine in St. Martin is that expensive. Or that Conner talked me into a back wax? (Just like Congress I hate reading the details of what I charged.)

So those people in charge did what the rest of us do … raise the amount they can borrow so they can keep doing what they are doing and swear that they are going to never do it again. Then they do it again. I wonder if anybody in Congress can balance a check book?

In spite of all of these things I made it to Anchorage, Alaska and I'm sitting here watching it rain and pondering these things. Alaska is way behind east coast time and I got to bed at like 4:00 in the morning though here it was 1:00. It is 65 degrees and I'm wearing my flip flops.

We had a dinner last night with Ida Nelson learning about the politics of the place. As you would expect ... it is weird. Then again ... everything about politics is weird. Especially politicians! It doesn't get any weirder than them.

Mountains surround me and there is snow in the canyons and crevices. I thank God that it is not cold. It was daylight when I went to sleep and it was daylight when I woke up. Apparently moose walk down sidewalks here. Ida gave me a cookbook "Traditional Food Guide" that has two pages dedicated to ... I'm not making this up ... "Moose and Caribou Parts."

That's not something you see every day. It is full of interesting information like ... did you know that "Head muscles are cooked and eaten" or that "Brain is used in preparing 'head cheese' and in tanning hides?

I know. I didn't either.

So in spite of failed technology, traveling across Canada, women who wear corsets, newspapers, the really stupid crisis that politicians made up so that they can solve them to get their sorry asses re-elected, my credit card bill, Moose and Caribou parts, snow in the mountains, and having discovered what daylight savings time really is ...

I'm happy to be here.

I'm happy.

It feels good.