Wednesday, May 1, 2013

It's time for you to jump over your fears

I have a friend who surfs.

The thing is, he can't swim.

Another was getting by another year in the 27th unhappy year of her marriage when one day she got in the car and drove to Tybee Island because a friend had made the offer, "You can stay here anytime."

And she spent a year reevaluating herself, her marriage and how she wants to live the rest of her life.

Now she's back home but living on her own terms and even if it doesn't work out right, at least she gave herself the most enjoyable year she's lived so far.

A mother of three small children in upstate New York picked up the phone and called a man she hadn't seen in a decade because he'd once said that she could always come back. So she did. After relocating to the South she's built a new life and the two are very happily married.

Most are scared to do such things. Why in the world would someone who can't swim surf? How does a wife take a year off from her marriage? What possibly motivates a mother of three young children to believe she can successfully have a different life?

After all, we're not supposed to do these kinds of things. They're not acceptable. They are risky. They throw caution to the wind and are outrageous acts of irresponsibility.

The ramifications of taking such steps can be drastic. Parents scold children, Ministers pronounce sins, friends take sides, society pushes you to the outside. You're a black sheep, rebel, outcast or the crazy one in the family. People tell you you're going to hell.

A lot of us want the most out of life. Unfortunately we're too frightened to take the first step, feeling trapped by the choices we've made, the relationships we're in or the jobs we have.

So we never do anything.

I wanted to bungee jump.

Climbing to the top of a massive tower I was strapped in to the cord that would prevent me from crashing onto the ground far below.

"OK," the kid said. "Go for it."

Peering over the edge, the ground was some eighty feet below. The cord was some sixty feet long.

My mouth went dry. A ball of fear suddenly churned in my stomach. My knees shook.

Turning, I looked at a bunch of young girls standing behind me. They were waiting to go next.

"Come on Old Man!" they laughed. "Do it!"

I'm still uncertain what it was. I knew that I wanted to jump believing it would add to my life's experiences. I disliked the girls calling me old and indicating that the foolishness of youth had passed me by. I distained fear taking over my life even for a moment.

So ... like a surfer who can't swim ... an unhappy wife stuck in unhappiness... and a mother of three who wants so much more ... I jumped.

In each case, it's scary as hell and as exhilarating as heaven!

We're all happier and more fulfilled people than we ever could have been without jumping.

Today I'm thinking of all of the people who want to jump from the lives they are living into the one they want so much. But they're scared, feeling stuck and choosing to allow unhappiness and unfulfilled lives to continue.

I want to tell them.

"It's alright. JUMP!"