For years it was my job to keep everyone happy which is, of course, an impossible task.At the Jefferson Street Baptist Chapel and then at Union Mission, Inc. I tried my very best to be "all things to all people" actually achieving great success at both.
Yet they extracted personal costs in return and in hindsight, while each gave me a lot, I gave them lots more so the scales never balanced.
Both were incredible runs though neither ended the way I wanted.
I don't revisit the "Graveyard of Casualties" or my "Litany of Sins" as each becomes a chicken bone stuck in my throat ... hard, painful and continuing to choke the life out of me.
On the rare occasions they find me, I perform quick exorcisms and focus on the N.O.W.
I know I did the best I could, don't second guess myself and proud I'm a survivor ... still here swinging.
Though I do marvel at it all.
"My life is good," as Randy Newman conceived himself ... and I firmly believe it.
I've come to believe life's a lot like surfing.
You get ready ... wait for the wave ... miss a few ... catch a few ... some are better than others ... a few peter out while some build to fantastic crescendos ... the ride itself is exhilarating ... sometimes you fall off ... other times it ends perfectly.
You never know what's going to happen.
No wave last a lifetime.
Then you either quit or do it again.
And it's hard to surf again if you spend your time constantly focusing on the last wave.
So far, I 've kept doing it again and the waves get better ... anticipation is replaced by acceptance ... I marvel at the love in my life today.
Life is mostly Sarah, our children, our home, the salt and the Sea.
We don't succumb to Pier Pressure carefully protecting what we have while viciously guarding how much we give.
I've learned you only have so much to give in life ... the pool grows shallower with time ... and if you keep giving they keep taking ... and in the end it's you and who really loves you.
At the end, it's just you and who loves you who dive off the end of the Pier to catch the next wave to whatever's next.
