Thursday, August 8, 2013

Book History

My first book came out right after I'd left the place it was about. Sitting on Daytona Beach, I saw "The Society of Salty Saints" for the first time and read about a rag tag, inner city congregation that somehow took off and, because I'd been the "Professional Christian" in charge, a publisher was interested and asked me to write a book.

It did well and I was asked to write a sequel.

So I did.

It pissed the publisher off because I decided to only use quotes from Clarence Jordan's "Cotton Patch Gospels". Clarence is the only prophet Southern Baptist ever produced and translated the New Testament into a modern day southern vernacular. The publisher thought I was compromising the continuing story of the gritty church in the city.

So they dropped me.

By this time I was in Savannah, Georgia and because "Salty Saints" had sold well, another publisher gave me a contract for "Partners In Grace". It was very much like the first book and it did really well so they wanted me to do another. "Why the Homeless Don't Have Homes" is the only thing I've written to win an award and it got me invited to lots of places.

A friend I'd gone to Seminary with was now working for another publisher. He called asking if they could publish my next book and I said, "Sure."

Horrified they read the manuscript of "Running with the Dolphins & other Tybee Tales."

"Um, Micheal," Scott said when he called, "we're a religious publisher. We only do Christian books."

"Lots of people use God's name on Tybee," I replied. "Especially late at night."

When the book came out, it did crazily good and remains my most popular writing.

So Scott was even more horrified when the next book was "Playing Hide & Seek: A non-Church-goers guide to God". Most books have a preface written by someone vouching for it. Nobody would vouch for this one and I actually got hate mail before it was published.

When it did come out, the publisher dropped me.

The next one was "Out from under the Rock", sort of a sequel and I gave all of the money it made to Union Mission. It made lots of money. I didn't get any.

So I decided to write a book that would make me a lot of money. Tour of Homes is a big, ambitious tome that didn't make me any money. It got good reviews though.

Then I got distracted did lots of writing but it wasn't book stuff.

Sarah walked outside one day and, "It's time for a new book. Why don't you write one about Winston, the little gay dog?"

As far as we know nobody's written a book about a gay dog ... so I did.

Then Sarah walked outside and said, "It's time for another book. People have been asking."

"Well I just finished the book on Winston, the little gay dog, yesterday," I replied.

This was received with incredible silence, crossed arms and an "Are you kidding me?" look.

So, Sandy Bottoms & Duct Taped Hearts (http://www.meellc.com/wordpress/newbook/ ) is done and will be out soon.

Winston, the little gay dog, is pissed because he thought his book would be out first. He just stormed out wearing a little sweater with the words "Writers Suck More" while flipping me his middle pad on his paw with nails painted red.

What do you do?

No matter what, I seem to always get under somebody's skin.

Or in this case, fur.