Friday, February 1, 2013

Can you really trust all dogs?

Winston, the little gay dog, is cracking up. Perhaps its the pressure of his criminal record or it could be the fact that he's so "outed". I don't know but he's showing signs of craziness uncommon even for this island.

He's become a Diva. If it rains or is even damp outside, he refuses to leave the house. He'll prance to the sliding glass doors, peer outside, look at us as we've lost our freaking minds, then return to the sofa and snuggles under a blanket.

His bi-polar personality disorder is finally exhibiting itself on a regular and consistent basis. Laying on the couch with his head resting on Sarah's leg, he'll evilly watch Goddess lazily stroll in from outside. Beginning with a low growl, he snaps to attention, snarls, jumps of the couch an bark like a banzai in Goddess' face.

Ever laid back and mellow, Goddess merely stares at Winston, the little gay Diva, Bi-polar, Son-of-a-bitch (and I use that term literally) dog as though saying, "Hey Man. It's cool. Let's go outside and I'll give you something to calm you down."

Sarah's reaction is to grab a green spray water bottle and pulls the trigger. A midst of water hit his face and Winston, the little gay dog, retreats, resumes his position on the sofa and mellows out as though nothing happened.

Goddess sort of shrugs and meanders back outside alone.

A few minutes later the beloved back deck is covered in a large blanket of smoke which is odd because there is no fire in the Chiminea. Then I swear I hear Goddess coughing and hacking. Checking on her, she's laying on her back, staring at the stars with a smile on her face. I leave her alone.

Winston, the little gay dog/Diva/Bi-Polar/Son-of-a-Bitch (and I really mean it), continues to push the envelope.

Yesterday he peed on the bed.

Not his bed.

Our bed!

Sarah screamed as she reached for the green water bottle but he jumped off and hid underneath where she couldn't get to him. She scolded him the rest of the day.

Since then he's been pretty contrite, suddenly seeming like a Catholic Alter Boy waiting on a Priest to arrive, on his best behavior and almost ... serene.

Sarah and the girls think he's the cutest thing ever, laying there wearing his red, black and white sweater that reads "Nookie is overrated". 

Goddess and I don't know what to make of this.

We don't trust him.

And we agree to watch each other's back.