Grabbing hold of semi-consciousness, prying my arms from around Sarah, I roll over to see My Guardian Angel who reeks of cigarette smoke, bourbon and beer.
"Oh go to Hell," I sigh, rolling back over to spoon Sarah.
"Oh no you don't," she spits in her raspy voice pulling me out bed so I lay naked in the floor.
"Have you been working out?" I ask suddenly awake.
Her puny arms are pasty white ... she's way too thin ... so the stained white robe with blue stole ... is always dropping over one shoulder or the other almost exposing one of her breasts.
"Follow me," she commands and floats across the bed room.
Thankfully Sarah's sleeping though I notice Goddess, Winston The Little Gay Dog and Gypsy the formerly-Gender-confused-cat are shivering under the bed.
When I get to the kitchen I drink a glass of water before stumbling out into the warm night on the Beloved Back Deck and take a seat at the table.
My Guardian Angel does a shot of bourbon and chases it with a tall boy PBR, hacks up a lung and spits it over the side and speaks in her raspy voice, "Meet my friend Adaliah."
Looking across the table into the darkness, Adaliah is dark so I have to really look hard ... "Nice tan," I finally say. "Why are your eyes so red? You spend a lot of time on Tybee?"
She laughs and her voice is what you expect an Angel's voice to sound like as she replies, "I get around."
Burping my Guardian Angel throws and empty into the back yard.
"Wait a minute," I exclaim standing up ... fully awake now ... 'Adaliah' means death in Hebrew!'"
"Nice to meet you," Adaliah says, "now sit down. Don't worry I'm off the clock. I've heard lots about you and just wanted to meet you in person."
"Great," I sigh.
"Actually we've almost met several times," Adaliah continues, "but it never worked out."
"You're welcome," my Guardian Angel sneers.
"I owe you the next round," I yawn scratching myself.
"You owe me several," she snaps.
"Well what can I do for you?" I ask Adaliah who ... aside from the red eyes looks remarkably like Jennifer Lopez.
"I didn't want to come," she smiles nodding her head to the right, "she made me."
"Pleazzzzzeeee," I say to my Guardian Angel. "Why? What?"
She burps in my face and snaps, "Because you owe me and I wanted to."
There is an awkward silence.
"Hey Adaliah," I ask, "would you be reference on my resume?"
"What?" she asks.
"Yeah," I say standing up again, "if we almost met several times but never did ... that's pretty cool! It should be on my resume. Are you on anybody else's resume?"
"I've never been asked before," she smiles.
I hug my Guardian Angel who screams, "LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!"
"My goodness," my beautiful wife Sarah says over coffee this morning, "you certainly are happy today."
"What's not to love?" I smile. "Plus I have a new angle ... I mean Angel ... on the job front."
"Good," Sarah smiles looking like Heaven.
