Monday, March 12, 2012

I Am Risen

A thin blanket of clouds, sheet like, is spread across the ocean which is restless and kicking. The breeze is blowing so the long leaf Palm Trees dance on the shore. Lying in bed, I watch the sky turn from dark gray to a litghter shade of pale. Jumping up, I close the curtains so Sarah can sleep. A quick shower later I grab a cup of coffee and sit on the veranda to watch the sun rise.

It wasn't a pure ball of fire bubbling out of the sea because of the thin blanket of clouds. Yellow rays burst heavenly and then the sun peaks out from the sheets. It rises as quickly as I did. Then the strangest thing happens ... the sheet of clouds disappear, evaporating into nothingness. A brilliant yellow ball stands alone in the sky.

The sea calms down. Palm Tress stop dancing and wave instead welcoming the new day.

Surveying the beach, I am the lone witness to this birth.

Recognizing this, the sun throws a handful of diamonds on the ocean creating a trail that leads directly to me. I am bathed in holiness.

Over the past few years, I lived through a great deal of hurt. There were days when I didn't think I could take anymore. People would try to encourage me. "The Lord will never give you more than you can bear," some said in a gross misquoting of Scripture. The truth is though I've seen many people crumble and die over what the Lord gave them to bear.

I'm lucky though. I got through it with the kindness of an incredible, tiny community of believers ... they believed in me when I wasn't believing in myself. It was a much different me that ended up getting through.

The relentless competitor was tempered. Desires of fame and fortune no longer burned ..they'd been satisfied and I learned the cost. Money still matters but so much less than ... watching the sun rise, praying on a sad little holy dock, discovering worship again in a Bar or learning to gracefully accept the love and kindness of others.

"I was once dead but now I live," John says Jesus said in Revelation. I know the feeling!

Life is brand new. Happy and in love, I celebrate everything around me, though I remember the dark times and those who created them. I do not dwell on these things but they remain a part of who I am. I believe one day they will be resolved.

When Jesus came back from the dead, I can't help but believe he was miffed at some. Sure, it was love he came to demonstrate but look at what happened over the long hawl. Judas, the friend who betrayed him did himself in as all betrayers ultimately do. Rome crumbled. The Empire that ruled the world and provided political authorization of his crucifixion is now ancient ruins. The Jewish faith that requested his death is more fractured than ever still wandering in the wilderness searching for a home.

In the end it seems, justice was served. The love of God was demonstrated at the same time. I think they are intertwined. I wonder about these things at the individual level ... in my life.

Clouds now bow below the risen sun. Peering in I see that Sarah is still sleeping. A parrot squaks. The coffee is cold. A new day has begun. I am risen.