Our little girl is gone!
Confidently strolling down the long hallway of Marshpoint Elementary School, blazing blue moon eyes full of wonder, Che only looks back when the instructor orders, flashing the quickest of waves, purposely storming forward into her future.
It's her Mom Che wants at the last moment before entering, holding her tight, pleading, the slightest tinge of fear in her eyes.
Soft, thundering encouraging words ensue from the wonder of a woman huddling over the last vestiges of our baby to become a little girl.
When Sarah lets Che's hand go, our girl walks in the school like she's owns it.
I'm a proud witness of a daughter's deep unspoken bond with her Mother, something I'm so grateful they'll always share, especially when I'm not around.
I'll be honest though, it's hard.
A crazy gumbo of emotions engulf me though it's surreal, I watch from the Valley of the Shadow of Death as almost an Angel, perhaps Ghostlike, and I hold it together.
It seems akin to an out-of-body experience!
I'm certainly here, watching Sarah huddle protectively as Clare casts off the last of the eggshells holding her back to who she's been until now.
I feel my wife's enthusiasm walking home from the school, pumping her fist heavenward, thanking God the pandemic's under control enough to get kids back in school!
My own overarching desire to be free from obligations to simply date Sarah swells and I even tell her, though we're rushing home to have time.
Once home the time's eaten by Sarah's work, my Doctor's appointments, Laurel and Cass's schools and short term planning because long term's simply not realistic at this time.
She and I are in a hurry to date again.
There were too many children involved when we were courting.
Now we want to date without kids.
Life's both normal and terminal at the same time.
I'm not smart enough to understand how this is possible but Sarah and I are pulling it off!
Well, it's mostly Sarah who insists on "normal" and, thank God she does, because I seem to continue my terminal slide but she keeps it fun!
That's not to say Wonder Woman isn't occasionally Bat shit crazy, because she is, but there's never any question about her heart.
Whereas I'm almost always Bat shit crazy leaving nothing to wonder about and my heart's been forged stronger than ever before because love is all around.
I feel it in my fingers.
I feel it in my toes.
You know what that means!
IF, and that's a big "IF" because we got a lot of kids, so if we actually pull off a date, I hope I can feel the menu in my fingers.
And Sarah's toes on mine.
This surreal feeling grows but love is all around me.
So these feelings grow.
