The sun's thrown off the clouds and is stretching in the sky as a new day comes to life. Ocean breezes rushes inland so the Palm Trees dance. Wind chimes play rhythm while birds sing. The world is made of powder blue and lush greens with sprinkles of brilliant colors popping out of the ground. Goddess is lounging on her cushion lazily watching a squirrel dart across the electric wires.
My tanned toes are propped on the outside table taking all of this in.
Sitting here I'm thinking about ... what to think about?
Sometimes it's best to not think but to just ... feel what is going on around you ... see it as it is ... not projecting anything on the place you're at ... accepting you're merely part of something bigger ... something that you often think you can control but in moments like this you know you can't ... you're just a part.
It's been a crazy week.
Life and Death have been set before you and the Bible says that God encourages us to choose life so that we may live ... which suddenly strikes me as a pretty one sided proposition. Who in their right mind chooses death?
Truth is I've seen lots of people choose it. Kenny Millet did when he overdosed on cocaine. Bruce Freyman did when he walked across the bridge over the Ohio River drunk. My Dad did when he looked at us in the hospital room and said, "I'm ready. What do you think?"
"It's OK Dad," I said with my hand on his knee as his eyes stared off into another universe, "if you're ready then I'm OK with that."
I've seen Death claim its prey without offering options too. The son of a dear friend was shot and killed in a war that should have ended a long time ago. Disease conquered kidneys. Wrecks claimed life as suddenly as the car came to a halt.
Life is a gift that none of us asked for yet each of us share.
We're here because our parents planned for us ... or they didn't. We live because we were conceived in love or lust. Parents hung around to get us through or they didn't. Some of us were born with a full deck of cards and others with the deck stacked against us.
Regardless ... life is too short.
It's a shame that its shorter for some than it is for others.
I think about Kenny, Bruce, my Dad, Tanner, Bubba and the host of Holy's who graced my life. The were gifts upon a gift.
One of my favorite song plays on the computer. I have been drunk now for over two weeks, I've passed out and I've rallied and I've sprung a few leaks ... I've got to stop wishing, I've got to go fishing, I'm down to rock bottom again ... just a few friends ... just a few friends.
And a song I've listened to for 30 years suddenly has new meaning. Just a few friends. I count them on my fingers and my toes. I celebrate the ones who are gone and I miss them. My heart bubbles with emotion for those I still have. I'm blessed that my children grew up to be my friends. My best friend sleeps beside me at night.
I don't think these things.
I feel them.
Guardian Angels seem to be orchestrating this day.
Some are dead.
Some are living.
But they are all angels.
