Pastor Tim explains Satan invented all sorts of diabolical reasons to make attending Church inconvenient such as kids soccer games, family getaways, going on your honeymoon, vacation, parents in Hospice or being invited to go to the Caribbean for free by a friend.
They seem like perfectly good reasons to skip Church but Pastor Tim says, "you're choosing the captivity of activity over what God says is more important."
Pastor Tim never states when God tells him this but quickly moves on to listing ten reasons to force yourself to be in Church when you have other places to be or people to enjoy.
Not wanting to be left behind, Bar Church has come up with it's own list to attend even though it's the last things in Hell you want to do!
1. See who's in the Band! The Duct Tape Choir's most consistent member is David Dunneibier and he's not even sure he's a Christian! Everyone else floats in and out, joins then quits or shows up at the wrong gig. It's always loads of fun to see who's actually singing at Bar Church every Sunday because only God knows for sure!
2. Pick out who's actually attending worship as opposed to who fell asleep in the Sand Bar last night and wakes up in the middle of Church! Then count how long before they realize they're part of a congregation! It's loads of fun!
3. Likewise, lots of tourists wander inside looking for a drink, cozy up to the Bar, slowly realize it's not open yet and they're in a Church service and laugh your head off as they try to tactfully get the Hell out as quickly as possible.
4. Check out the Potluck on the Pool table to see if anyone stopped at McDonald's for a sackful of sausage-and-biscuits, what Sam Sahr's casserole is and how many Deviled eggs Mary brought! (Deviled eggs in Bar Church cracks us up!)
5. Will the Rev's sermon be from a manuscript or will he be shooting from the hip? He swings both ways so when you're counting on him publishing the text on Facebook he didn't write it down and when you can less what he said, the entire text is published.
6. What are this week's Drink Specials? The Sand Bar starts serving around the same time the Rev starts preaching and there are specials. Most Church only serve grape juice in little tiny plastic cups or real wine in a Priest controlled chalice shared by all.
7. Will girls wearing bikinis wander in during the service? Will guys without shirts worship with us (for you Chuck Cox!)? Will the Rev wear a religious tee shirt (with the OM symbol on a George Harrison tee) or a secular one (like the one promoting "Pippin" on Broadway)?
8. How far away will you have to park to attend worship? Way more people come to Tybee Island than parking allows so it's possible to spend the entire service riding around hopelessly looking for parking rather than attending. This fosters both prayer for an open spot and the use of the God's name in vain both of which count as expressions of faith at Bar Church.
9. How many verses will there be to "Knocking on Heaven's Door" and how many will be made up? Depending on the enthusiasm of the congregation determines the length of the service's concluding Hymn,
10. Will the congregation call for an encore after the service ends? It happens with increasing regularity in Bar Church and you can't say that about most churches!
_________
This Sunday at Bar Church the Duct Tapped Choir is having open auditions.
