A beautiful sunrise has been kidnapped by the Fog which was rolled in from the Back River. The morning is muted in a haze so ... I light a fire on the Beloved Back Deck where I am working and create ... cozy. Goddess loves a fire and sits under my feet with her face staring into the flame.
The famous Dr. Jim Withers calls me and says that it is cold and raining in Pittsburgh. I say that once the sun burns this fog off, it's going to be close to eighty degrees and a lovely day. He is driving his daughter to school and immediately asks her if she wants to come to Tybee Island.
I re-read a letter I received yesterday for the hundredth time. Pandora plays on the computer. I hold the morning in balance. Before me are the things that I wish for today but like the fog that has hidden the sun I know things will get in the way. Everything will not go right.
The fog drags a cold breeze off of the ocean and throws it at me. I throw wood on the fire.
"Bring it on," I say out loud.
The song changes and I listen intently warming my bare feet in crackle of the wood.
You should know that life is a gamble all along
winners and losers who keep rolling on
so go on and roll the dice
you only live twice
do it or die
My favorite song by the Atlanta Rhythm Section plays arriving perfectly. I've always loved that line ... "you only live twice" ... it's such a wonderful ... truth.
The song is about everything going wrong.
Resurrection is funny concept. Jesus comes back from the dead to remind us ... "Don't let your bad breaks go getting you down ... even when times are rough and you've had enough ... do it or die."
So when death came ... Jesus refused to die.
I've been there.
Everything went wrong ... EVERYTHING ... and I was left alone in a tomb of a house ... dead to my own life.
But you know what?
You only live twice.
There's the first time when it all goes mostly right. Then there is this bitch of a crucifixion and you either allow it to happen or ... you don't. Marriages end but life goes on. Jobs come and go but you're left standing. Dreams don't always come true and you wonder if this is all that there is on the other side of the rainbow. The Fog rolls in an kidnaps a sunny day. Darkness falls inside of you when nights should be full of love.
These these certainly happened to me.
They suck.
But ... do it or die.
I'm not ready to die. So I lit a fire ... on the back deck and inside of me.
So just like when Jesus came back because he refused to die ... watch me.
I'm just getting started.
