"I'm dressing as a Beach Bum ... you can dress like a Pirate if you want to."
Sending texts, Bob Fulton and I are planning Bar Church where we're part of the Festival ... after three days of drunken debauchery ... Sam Adams had the bright idea to include a Worship Service to kick off the last day of ... debauchery."
Tybee Island almost as many Parades as it does Stop Signs ... searches of cars without warrants ... cigarette butts on the beach ... and plastic bags.
It's gotten to the point that if you throw a water balloon, the Island throws a Parade.
WAIT A MINUTE!
That's how this whole Parade Culture started!
A really shitty soft ball team ... with cheerleaders ... who liked to drink more than hit or catch ... left another loss on the field to march to a Bar when someone threw a water balloon at them.
The next time, the soft ball team threw back.
That's how it all started.
Then Tybee Island City Council learned about it and now we now have a frigging parade for everything.
If your cat actually hits the litter box, the Tybee Tourism Council is all over it ... and there's another parade!
Today the Island is overrun with Pseudo-Pirates, Wrenches and Booty grabbers ... filling the Hotels, Bars, Streets, beach, wandering into the sand dunes, beach swings and under the Pier ... where they make love, drink, grope, make love, make love, make love and make love.
I wonder why the Tybee Tourism Council isn't promoting us as "THE" Love Making Island?
The Department of Public Works cannot effectively retrieve the volume of condoms left in the sand dunes and on the beach every day ... though they do recycle ... and the Police Department knows where the rubber really hits the road.
I'm over the Parades!
I'm not dressing like a Pirate (though I certainly hope Sarah does the Wench thing) ... I'm not into the crowds ... and am increasingly convinced the reason Tybee has so many fireworks is so the Police Department can charge people with illegal discharge of firearms without a gun.
WAIT!
I may be confusing that with the discharges in the sane dunes.
