The Total Pagan Entertainment Package

Sitting mostly naked at my desk in the corporate conference room on the top floor of Micheal Elliott Enterprises, the phone rings. This is not something that I'm accustomed to anymore.I wonder where the phone is? I have no idea. Last night Pete Kuntz called from Mexico but I never made it to the phone in time so I just heard his voice mail. I am intensely involved in research at the moment and don't need the distractions. Laurel is having Greek celebration day at school and is wearing a Laurel on her head which cracks me up. She also is wearing a toga! In her head wish I'd worn more togas when I was in school. Laurel with the laurel on her head asked me to cook her a Greek breakfast this morning and I don't have a clue what the ancient Greeks ate for breakfast so I've Googled it. It turns out they had barley bread dipped in wine with a garnish of fig. I've always liked the ancient Greeks, much more than the Romans. The Romans wanted to conquer everything and invented military uniforms, structured Government and pax Romana, which is formation of the legal profession. It's easy to not like the Romans. The Greeks invented the Olympics and in the original games all of the competitions occurred in the nude. Now that was a sight to see! I think the Olympics have gone to hell since the Greeks ran them and Nike took over. The phone keeps ringing so I get out of my chair and stare at it. It's Sarah so I answer. "You didn't answer your cell phone so I called you on this one," she explains. "I don't know where my cell phone is," I tell her. "It's on the desk," she says. "Oh," I reply. That was pretty much the conversation. Returning my mostly nude self to my chair at the conference room table in the penthouse of corporate headquarters of Micheal Elliott Enterprises, I resume my research. "The original Olympics," says the article, "was the total pagan entertainment package." "There where sacrifices and rituals would take up as much time as the sports. And there were all these peripheral things that came with the festival: the artistic happenings, new writers, new painters, new sculptors. There were fire-eaters, palm readers, and prostitutes" (see http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/08/0809_040809_nakedolympics.html). Getting up again, I go find the phone again and call Direct TV". After pressing seven buttons I'm finally connected to Rashtonia who seems very nice. "Yes," I explain. "I would to upgrade my subscription to include the total pagan entertainment package." Laurel with the laurel and I can watch it tonight.