Thursday, May 2, 2013

A Hula Girl At Heart

My wife is a Hula Girl at heart.

It's really starting to come out now.

In spite of her course northern vernacular, tough public façade and utter lack of ability to use a Hula Hoop, she's got the spirit and a little more comes out every day.

She's got a great tan and let me tell you she looks damn good when she just wears it!

Tan lines are just a distant unpleasant memory. She no longer has to worry about wearing clothes to cover the white parts and she doesn't have a cotton tail any more.

Her tee shirt collection has grown in direct proportion to her life on this island. She prefers V-necks that cling to her curves often rendering me completely speechless.

The bicycle has emerged as her preferred method of transportation and though hers hasn't gotten drunk yet, it's just a matter of time. Whitley Reynolds' bicycle lives right across the marsh and his bike is just circling hers like a shark waiting for the right moment.

Sarah is a full fledged participating member of the Carnival Of Friends and has proven her worth by conducting bathroom supervision when Rocky Moore has to go, drinking Jodee's special concoctions, assisting in a hostile take over of Dedra's bed when she was away and photographing Judy O'Neill prepare her own special hot dog. Hell! She and Cheryl plan most Carnival activities.

She's led worship in Bar Church, played with the Boys in the Band at Bernie's, been hugged by Roma and Esther Guy loves her. She waded in the water for Trolley Joe's funeral,  sleeps through the Turtle Trot and is hit on by women who visit Doc's Bar.

She brought Winston, the little gay dog, into our home who has become an icon on the island and within one year of his arrival has arranged the first annual Gay Days on Tybee which will take place this weekend. Of course we're all going, he loves Sarah more than anything.

She avoids politics, institutional religion and has developed a severe case of Tybee-itis which is dreaded fear of crossing the Lazaretto Bridge. She prefers being on-island.

She now likes to vacation on other islands, likes cruise ships, is a pretty good roulette player and wants to live next door to Joey Finch in Key West. Conner and Hania love her so she's part of the family. Carlos and Verna do too. And Franklin, who is brown, lusts after her in a way that borders on obsession.

Her birthday is next week and it's also Mother's Day but I'm not worried.

I know exactly what I'm getting her.

A grass skirt!