Toga Party

"I can't believe a bunch of old farts would show up wearing sheets but they did," she exclaimed as the only non-sheet wearing woman at our Toga party last night. It was Sarah's idea. "Let's have a Toga party," she said a couple of weeks ago. "OK," I replied shrugging my shoulders. Then the anticipation started building. The Carnival of Friends take their Togas very seriously! Who knew? I should have. We've partied over "Whine and Cheese", naked swimming, birthdays, elections, the burgeoning clothing optional movement on Tybee Island (we think the beach between 12th and 14th Streets should be roped off for nude sunbathing and water frolicing for those who choose to do so) and we often laugh at funerals. Last night it was Togas. We were fabulous! Everyone took their swaddling clothing very seriously. Judy O wore a table cloth with pearls. Jodee wore Pharaoh eye shadow and wieided a sword. Johnny O looked gay. Cheryl looked laced. Dedra was dressed in drapes from Wall Mart. Todd looked tall. Art looked like Yasser Arafat. And Sarah was freaking hot! Then Paul and Lamy showed up looking ... normal. Uncomfortable and embarrassed at their Togaless covered asses they tried to overcompensate with personality and good taste ... which are, of course, foreign concepts on the island of Tybee. I don't know what you did last night but we hosted a gathering of Greek Goddesses and Gods ... and two very ordinary looking people trying to fit in. Which brings me to the points of this. What do you suppose heaven looks like after a party? Does it look like hell with empty bottles, cigarette butts, spill stains, and someone sleeping in a bed that you had no idea was here? "How in the hell did she get in," St. Peter asks. "Awww, let her sleep," God says. I mean a party's a party and if its a good one it leaves an aftermath ... even in heaven. Second, people who are not willing to wear a Toga out in public on short notice are very boring people ... think Obama, that Morman Mitch guy, Eric Johnson and Buddy Carter, Mother Mary and most people who are getting ready for Church right now. In fact, Jesus wore a Toga so doesn't it make sense that people who go to Church wear them too? Just Saying.