Saturday, January 7, 2012

What I Shall Be

In the middle of shagging last night with my carnival of friends, I lost my I-phone. It's probably on the floor of Doc's Bar. We'll see later. It's full of stuff that I want to keep, but who knows?

Life is that way.

Good times, surrounded by my best friends, with good music playing ... things just couldn't get better. Then almost immediately, something screws it up. I don't worry about too much anymore.

I used to.

Back in the day such stuff would send me over the edge and I'd blame the universe for bad things happening to me. I'd ask God, "Why am I being singled out? What did I do?" It was always someone else's fault!

It reminds me of John Lennon's description of the break-up of the Beatles. "It's your fault that you can't play the tambourine that everything went wrong!"

It's really hard to play a tambourine wrong.

The truth is what I did was drop my phone while I was dancing with the person I love. She's far more significant and it was heavenly. Going to heaven has its cost, I suppose. What's an I-phone when I was dancing with smile like that?

I'll go back to Doc's in a little bit and see if someone turned it up or decided to keep it. I've already called it a couple of times and made myself a mental note to change my voice mail greeting ... it sounds lame.

Last night at AJ's, where we had dinner, the obnoxious people who are my best friends were making fun of how old I am. I didn't take it personally. To quote Popeye, "I am what I am," ... which is pretty damn close to what God said to Noah after setting fire to a bush ... "I Am that I Am."

It's a funny word in Hebrew though. Like most Hebrew words, it can mean a lot of different things, though the 16 different versions of the King James English translations of the Bible pretty much keep it "I am that I am."

It also says, "I shall be what I shall be."

Just like God to always be moving forward.

That's one of the things I love about Hebrew, which is of course, God's chosen language (sorry every elected official in America, it's not English) ... there is no sense of time. I was what I was. I am what I am. I shall be what I shall be.

I've been a lot so far. I've been everywhere I've wanted to go ... well ... not Bora Bora or ... or Fiji ... or the great Barrier Reef ... but I'll get around to it.

You only live once.

I refuse to die without doing all of the things that I really was born to do.

I shall be what I shall be.

What I was last night ... was blissfully dancing with this smile on the dance floor of Doc's Bar. So what? The cost of touching heaven is an I-phone?

Today, I am what I am ... I-phone-less... but blissfully happy.

Tomorrow ... I shall be what I shall be ...

If I were you ...

I'd duck.