Monday, June 1, 2015

One Hell of a Sermon

It's one of those days to be quiet and let the words find me.

Today's tough because I smyth words on Sunday at Bar Church (www.tybeebarchurch.com) and am normally petered out on Monday.

It's sort of like being a rock star ... I mean who else besides ministers get paid good money to be "the Center of the Universe" for 20 minutes or so once a week?

AND ... if that's not enough ... ministers also presume to speak for G.O.D.

That's pretty ballsy.

I mean I wouldn't want to be in their shoes if they say the wrong things.

Anyway ... in addition to telling stories on Sunday mornings ... I don't preach ... there's W.A.Y. too much preaching in the world already ... I tell stories ... that's enough.

To the best of my knowledge ... Jesus only preached one sermon in his life.

He took a trip to the mountains which must have been a popular destination ... like Gatlinburg ... saw the crowds ... bought them lunch ... and preached a Hell of a Sermon! ... apparently on a Mount.

The rest of the times he merely told stories.

A "Hell of a Sermon" is one still talked about today.

Let's be honest ... how many sermons do you remember?

How many fall into the "Hell that's worth remembering!" category?

I remember Pastor Johnson at the Port Wentworth First Baptist Church quoting "Jesus Christ Superstar" once ... then he started crying and says, "Jesus is my only Superstar."

Sitting on the third pew, Mrs. Johnson looks pissed.

I remember that one.

Bill Berry, not the former drummer for REM but the other one, won the "Clyde T. Francisco" preaching award and it was something about a minister is like a conductor of an orchestra.

I have no idea what he means though he whips out a conductor's stick and waves it at everybody.

That's all I remember about it ... but I was very proud of Bill that day.

Of course I remember several of Guy Sayles', America's greatest minister, sermons.

The best was when we are in College and I go with Guy to some Country Church and he's great! I love listening to Guy. He really is the best ever.

I have no recollection of what he says though I do remember we have to hang around forever waiting to see if he's going to get paid.

He wasn't.

We left.

I bought lunch at Shoney's.

In today's technological world, I have to blog, promote, cleverly respond to other people's postings (see Matt Few's page on Facebook) ... email, plan, message, Instagram and remind myself to check LinkedIn.

Add preaching to the mix and I'm wiped out on Monday's.

Plus all the girls are here and they want to talk ... okay they aren't really talking ... they're reacting to me when I say, "Clean your room. Your Grandparents will be here soon"

Two of the three have thrown shit under their beds or in the closet.

The other obviously doesn't care about her Grandparents.

I'm too tired to write though it's my job and I can't think of anything to write about.

Maybe tomorrow.