Winston, The Little Gay Dog, has issues.
Let me begin by clarifying that Winston, TLGD, and I get along fabulously.
Sure I call him names a lot, especially you little-son-of-a-bitch, which I mean literally ... because he is.
But we hang out together on the beloved back deck because he likes to tan and I prefer being outside.
He asks my advice when he's online shopping.
Just yesterday I showed him a black V-neck and no sleeves with white letters reading ... "I'm out therefore I am." He loves it!
I give him treats every morning. He prefers really big bones and I make certain he has one to start every day off right.
Sure he sheds all over the sofa, makes the bed feel like it has "Magic Fingers" as he cuddles beside Sarah and barks like a girl ... but he's a little gay dog so I expect such things.
But this morning he's really ticked me off.
He left a little present on the living room floor.
Sarah's still asleep and the little SOB is hiding under the bed where he knows I won't go because I love my wife and want her to sleep late.
I could kill him.
After cleaning it up I'm sitting here fuming pondering my revenge.
It has to be sometime diabolically clever that he will hate and Sarah will never know.
I don't know what it is yet so your suggestions are welcome.
I am contemplating puppy Prozac for him but want to get him back before he gets too mellow.
The best suggestion gets a free book!
