Lying in bed I listened to the rain wash the sins of the world away. The windows were open so the steady downpour was loud. I am wrapped in the arms of love and content in the night. God decides to liven it up with streaks of lightening with no thunder so that others can sleep. Silhouettes of Palm Streets dancing appear and then disappear adding to the vaudeville show that I am witness to ... Who can sleep?
Though I should be sleeping. I was up late talking about sins committed, forgiven and then the peace that passes all understanding came.
Then God decided to wake me up so we could have a talk.
I do most of the talking. First I question why is it that when things are just happily rolling along something stupid happens that disrupts the entire universe and the joy that was is held is suddenly lost?
The rain falls harder in response.
So it's the way that life is. I took this as the answer. We let things get in the way of expressing the deep love we have for someone else and before you know it, we have offended the things that we love. It's unintentional of course ... most sins normally are ... the road to hell being paved with good intentions and all that stuff. So I asked for forgiveness for the sin of oversight or taking for granted ... and the rain grew softer in the night.
I ask God why is it that time flies just when I am finally understanding the incredible happiness of this moment?
Lightening flashes and the silhouettes of the Palm Trees ceased dancing and stand at attention embarrassed at my questions.
God remains silent otherwise though the soft rain continues to fall.
Thoughts of all of the things that I've done flash through my mind ... the different versions of myself that I've been ... slow growth and hard lessons ... losses and loves ... abandonment and discovery ... accomplishments and failures ...
All of the things that have brought me to this moment, and who I am in it, and who are the community of believers who are on this journey with me ... and the thought emerges that I've lived my whole life to get to where I am now. Possibilities are endless if I remember the things that got me here but refuse to grow rooted in the fear of not being able to embrace the new ... because of being chained to the past.
The rain stops and all is quiet. Peaceful darkness invites the sleep to return to me.
I roll over into the arms of love and say, "Thank you God ... for this."
A lone bird sings a solo to welcome the coming of the new dawn.
