Nothing gives you more determination than love.
Whenever Che's around, Sarah and I are very serious about not missing any of the joy she brings, regardless of how we're feeling.
Our lives revolve around a monthly chemical injection, ever changing side effects, the never ending fight through the depressive thoughts cancer demands, marshalling energy to focus on accomplishing what's started without abandoning it or trying to say words that actually convey what's intended.
Actually that's just what I deal with.
Sarah also works full time helping people living with chronic disabilities, is a full-time Nursing student, my full-time care-giver, mother of four girls, grandmother of five more, works out to stay stunningly beautiful, picks up part-time gigs to make more money when she can and brushes our dog Lainey's hair every afternoon.
She's a Wonder of a Woman!
Anyway, we're often exhausted, though more often than I care to admit I can hardly manage blinking both eyelids at the same time while Sarah's mastered the art of dance without sleeping.
Plus she makes the best damn plans!
Every single day she formulates sound strategies of the easiest way to accomplish the very most and every single day by mid-morning it's all been blown to Hell!
Maddie needs this or Cass has to go there or we've just learned where Laurel is or Che erupts with LIFE or a patient has the audacity to need her immediately!
Whatever it is, it costs lots of money and we've reached the point of stretching a dozen eggs over a month because they cost 5-Freaking-Bucks-a-carton!
So this morning I'm on the sofa trying to figure out if I just smoked Weed or do I need to hurry when Che calls, "DA" in the darkness and Cassidy is shockingly completely dressed and ready for school far ahead of Sarah's daily scheduled leave time.
"Can you take me now?" Cass sighs.
I'm pretty sure I took my Medicine right before Che called but I'm sure.
"Da, I hope Levi's at school today," Che coos as I lay her on the sofa, reminding me that she's settled on a boyfriend from a very crowded field and he was absent the day before.
I tell myself I better smoke again just to make sure I did.
Ignoring Cass, I pass Sarah searching for the right shirt as I retrieve my medicine in our bedroom.
"Cass wants me to take her now," I say.
Grabbing another lovely "earth tone" Sarah stands and says, "I'll be ready in a minute" knowing full well she's right on schedule and Cass isn't.
Feeling as though I've forgotten something, I check on Che who can't decide what she wants for breakfast.
Cass rolls her eyes impatiently.
I wonder if I've smoked yet?
Sarah gracefully dances into the kitchen telling Cass to go to the car while kissing Che, explaining she's taking her sister to school and will be right back before gulping Orange Juice as she walks out.
Che and I sit in silence.
I think I should use this quiet moment to head out back and take my Medicine.
"I'll get dressed Da," Che says, leaving but returning in a seeming nanosecond with our dog because she's decided it's time to teach Lainey to sit.
Grabbing my phone, I record what I'm seeing and send it to Sarah, the girls and my Mom.
Che explodes with laughter, leaping across the floor and diving into my chest for hugs.
Cuddled on the sofa watching TikTok she asks, "When's Mom gonna be home?"
"Soon, I assure her.
She nods and grabs hold of my hand while her head rests on my chest and resumes scrolling.
It's idyllic.
"Che."
"Wha' Da?"
"Did I take my Medicine?"
She shrugs her shoulders.
