Celebrity Red Rover

I'm not into reality television shows but have a few ideas ... Celebrity Red Rover would be a great one! I'd love to watch a line that includes L.L. Cool, Rosanne Barr and Paula Dean yell out ... "Red Rover! Red Rover! Send Taylor Swift on over!" and then watch Taylor get clothes lined as she attempts to break through falling on her ass wearing a pure white dress into the mud with Cool J and Paula Dean butt jumping over her as Rosanne blows snot from her nose and gets ready for Katie Perry. I think it would be pretty popular. On Sunday mornings there could a Religious Red Rover so we could determine which church to follow. Would Benny Hinn miraculously be carried over the opposition line ... anchored by Charles Stanley and Kenneth Copeland (two of the dirtiest players on the team)? The winner could preach. The rest of us could change the channel to Political Marco Polo. Put a bunch of Congressmen in one side of a swimming pool and have Obama or that Mitch Romney Mormon Dude jump in the other end. If the President makes it to the other side without being tagged, one of his policies gets passed. The pool would likely look like a shark feeding frenzy which probably isn't a bad thing. All of the Senators and Congressmen would beat the shit out of each other in the water and many would drown. There could be body count at the conclusion of each show. Term Limits would take on an all new meaning. Congress would certainly improve. It can't get any worse. Media Dodge Ball is a game whose time has come. FOX News verses the Liberal Media. It would be fascinating to watch Brian Williams through a ball at Bill O'Riley trying to knock him trying to take out a tooth and then watch a pissed off O'Riley pick it up and throw it back as hard as he can. Of course Katie Couric would forever be defending her title aiming her throws straight at the gentiles of her opponents. I believe the major television networks would make up a lot of ground on cable and satellite with with such a strategy. Roller Derby for local news channels would also be big! I would love to see the WSAV team, anchored by Super-Weather-Woman Kris Allred, who is not afraid to use the "F" word, take on Jodi Chapman and the dominate players of WTOC. I think Kris would knock Sonny Dixon on his skinny ass. Pat Prokop would sit on the bench though he would be dressed out for the game ... wearing tights. Of course the team from WTGS, anchored by Jesse Blanco and a blond bimbo, would show up an hour early and miss the game forever being disqualified. Jesse's cool and wouldn't care. He'd beat the rest to a restaurant scooping then all to the dish (meaning the blond bimbo). There you go. These are my Monday morning suggestions to make your life better. I think I'm on to something here.