Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Underwear Optional (In support of Breast Cancer)

"Underwear is an intimate thing," says Edna Jackson, member of the Savannah City Council and candidate for Mayor.

"It should not be on public display."

This riveting bit of public policy came about after the "Breast Cancer Awareness" folks came up with the idea to get bras, have people sponsor them and hang them across Broughton Street, historic Savannah's main drag.This would be a very visual display that breasts are important and cancer should be eradicated. Having done fund raising throughout my career, it strikes me as a novel and unique approach to raising awareness ... so that women will get regular breast exams ... while also raising money for the cure.

These are the same folks who came up with the clever saying "Save your Ta-Ta's" and paints everything in pink ... the color of Breast Awareness.

Alas ... the Savannah City Council said no.

There used to be a popular restaurant in Savannah named "The 606 Cafe". It was extremely popular and was decorated in bras and panties. City Council members ate there.

I deduce from this that Edna and the Savannah City Council believe that underwear is perfectly acceptable inside, but shouldn't be used outside.

Let me stop and say that Edna and I go way back. We were in Leadership Savannah together. I'm pretty sure that she wore underwear to every meeting. I, on the other hand, believe in the "Underwear Optional" movement and would sometimes show up wearing no underwear. I figured, "Dammit! If you're going to lead ... LEAD!" It's kind of like the whole "Divining Rod" stick when you're looking to quench thirst by finding water. You know what I'm saying.

Edna never mentioned it.

That was then ... this is now.

I'm sitting in corporate headquarters on the beloved back deck of my company. I am writing reports that must be sent out today for a Board meeting in Philadelphia next week. And ... I do not have underwear on.

I donated them to "Bra's for a cure" ... not that I had any bras to donate ... but as a man I stand in solidarity with a cure for breast cancer so I did my best ... as "brief" as it is ... and it's pretty brief.

Anyway in corporate headquarters we just passed new company policy. We are an "Underwear Optional" company.

As soon as this happened, productivity increased dramatically.

We're adopting Breast cancer awareness as one of our company causes along with Street Medicine and Bar Church. It fits in line with our corporate value system.

If you go to page 414, Article 2, Section 315, Paragraph 8 of the employee handbook, it reads ... "We believe in medicine on the streets where it's most needed. Further, we believe in Bars. Further still, wear underwear if you want to. Finally, we believe in taking care of you ... even if bras are involved.

So my favorite pair of underwear just left.

And I'm not wearing any anyway.

And I got work to do.

But ... and let me be perfectly clear about this ... underwear hanging across Broughton Street in support of ending Breast Cancer is far better ... that one-quarter of Savannah living in poverty ... more murders per capita than mostly anywhere ... Let's lose those things by having Leaders.