Give and Take

It's become apparent the more I give, the longer it takes me to recover.

People are going to take and that remains one of life's constants ... like taxes and death.

Takers take.

But givers ... well ... we wear out over time.

Like great Athletes far passed their prime, we think we still have it in us ... and like them ... we don't ... and it's apparent for everyone to see.

We do it in short bursts whereas we used to be distant runners.

Back in the day, it was an amazing almost thirty year run of consistently giving to others believing I was helping God make the world a better place.

And truthfully we did ... for some.

Looking back on it, I did lots of wonderful and fantastic things and, in those moments, things got better ... for a little while.

Then things went back to being the same ... waiting on someone else to make them better.

These days, a few remember the glories of what used to be, but don't really care because it's not helping anything now.

I'm pretty ingenious at making things work, getting others to help and ... at least for a moment ... making things better.

Did it again yesterday.

Today I'm completely wiped out because of it.

What used to be a deep Ocean of compassion is becoming a shallow pond.

"You're like the frigging Energizer Bunny," Monty Parks says to me.

"You should have seen me in my day," I think but don't say. "I was relentless ... now I'm spastic."

I can still knock it out of the park but it takes a couple of days for me to recover.

Sitting in the floor, Sarah plays with my hair while we mindlessly watch television, waiting on our baby to be born and ... the excitement, tantalizing, erotic feel of fingers ... are everything I need.

The moment is perfect ... I am content ... she gives ... and I take.

We're watching an old movie where Indiana Jones finally breaks through to get the Holy Grail and there's an old Knight who's been guarding it for centuries.

Standing up the grey Knight holds up his sword to defend the Holiness and ... falls over backwards because of the weight.

I now know that feeling.

Yesterday was special as we hit another one out of the park ... or across the Sea as the case may be ... but we're paying for it today.

If only my phone would stop buzzing with the vibrations of so many needing so much.

Church Koozies

"I've never spoken into a Koozie before," the Mayor says holding his baby while speaking into a Koozie.

"Welcome to Bar Church," I whisper.

No self respecting islander wears socks so there's none to cover the microphones in the Ocean Breeze ... during the impromptu service on the Beach ... to thank God a Hurricane hit others far worse than us.

I don't know why organized religion is mostly reduced to "us against them" ... or "God likes us more than you" ... or "Our island wasn't hit and your town got the shit kicked out it so God obviously prefers here and not there" ... but at Bar Church we try to not pay attention to ... dogma or theology.

At Bar Church it's sort of like Barney does religion ... "I love you ... You love me ... we are one family" ... island life ... hard to describe but wonderful to experience.

A Hurricane came ... a Hurricane went ... our houses are mostly still here ... let's have a celebration ... it's the island way!

So that's what we did.

On the beach ... with a sound system ... no permit ... not much planning ... and no socks.

We asked God before the service began, "Where's a few good socks when you need them?"

God didn't answer.

But Joey who plays Bass has lots of Koozies ... not sure about the beers to go in them ... but he tapes them to the microphones so the wind wouldn't drown out the sound and a worship service was born!

It was pretty cool.

Church the way God planned it ... no stained glass ... bulletins ... pulpits ... choir lofts ... suits and socks ... panty hose ... and who needs a baptismal pool when you got an Ocean?

"It's a special place," the Mayor says holding his little girl in his arms.

"It's true," I whisper again. "We just got each other."

The sun, sand, breeze, Seagulls, salt air and ... I swear to God a crippled Jesus was walking on the water ... maybe it was the silhouette of a Paddle boarder ... made it all pretty Holy.

The music was out of this world.

Of course the cops showed up to ask if we have a permit.

"Oh yeah," someone mumbles, "well we did but it blew away ... besides the Mayor's here."

"Oh!" the officers exclaim ... slowly taking their hands off the tickets they were writing.

As soon as Church is over, Joey grabs his Koozies.

The rest of us hang around laughing.

You know ... the way worship should end.