Hitting the rocks means you survey the damage, see what's salvable and wait ... for the Tide to come in, some one to throw you a rope or for God to answer your prayers.
Divorces, the loss of loved ones, job changes, terrible accidents ... each rock left me ... asking "How bad is it?" ... "What have I lost and what do I still have?" ... Admitting I could use some help ... and waiting in fearful silence that nobody's going to be here for me ... God's silence is deafening when I really need to hear.
But we get incredible rolls too ... riding the wave perfectly, thrilled by what we're doing, lavishing in the attention, having the Midas Touch and marveling at how blessed we are!
Terrific kids, wonderful friends, professional accomplishments, travels to exotic places, awards and public recognitions ... each roll leaves me shaking my head, full of wonderment ... yelling "GOD THIS IS GOOD! I WANT MORE!" ... "I am Happy!" ... "I've got the best friends!" ... "God is good!"
As the Minor Prophet Dan Fogelberg proclaimed ... "I've seen the bottom and I've been on top but mostly I've been in-between."
Who can argue with that?
I'm in between right now.
On the one hand, I'm incredibly happy ... for the first time in my life ... I adore Sarah ... her kids make me laugh ... my kids give me tremendous satisfaction ... my circle of friends is small but fiercely loving ... we live at the Beach and clothing is optional.
It's an utterly satisfying blessing!
On the other hand, work stuff is not working out ... it's driving me crazy ... leaving me sullen ... not giving my best to Sarah and the children ... spending too much time alone ... and questioning God.
Put them both together and ... I see the bottom ... but I'm on top too ... so I guess that leaves me in-between.
Then again as the Minor Prophet says ... "Lessons learned are like bridges burned ... you only have to cross them once ... is the pleasure worth the price of the pain?"
HELL YEAH!
As crazy as it is ... and it's crazy ... I wouldn't trade it for everything or anything I've ever had in my life.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
It doesn't feel in-between.
Though I can see the bottom ... I am on top!
